Can every day be like this?

I don't know if it's because I'm getting the hang of this teaching thing, or if the kids are getting used to the routine, or if it's a fluke of fate, or if these little monsters are trying to soften me up before they unleash hell, but teaching this week has been easy...like really easy...too easy.  I'm scared to say this, but I've actually been enjoying it. There is a huge part of me that's apprehensive to even write about this good fortune.  On the one hand I'm probably jinxing myself right now by even recognizing that it's been easy/fun.  On the other hand, I don't think this run is going to last much longer so I might as well write about it, at least that way I can look back on this time and have something besides frustration and a growing addiction to soju.  

It seemed that every Monday prior to yesterday the kids would come back not only having forgot all the information we so diligently worked on teaching them the week before, but it was like in the space that knowledge used to call home, there was now some sort of brick or cinder block that was preventing anything from going back in.  For god sakes, we talked about colors for 3 WEEKS! Monday rolls around and these little people look at me like they've never even seen colors before, like they just developed the sense of sight on their way to school.  This was obviously pretty crushing.  Along with not remembering anything, it seemed like every Monday their parents would serve them a venti quad shot cappuccino poured over granulated sugar and gushers for breakfast.  I heard somewhere that you can find a child's average attention span in minutes by dividing their age in half ...this means that my kids have a minute and a half on a good day.  On Mondays they might as well be embryos. 

Knowing this was the pattern that had developed, I came into school yesterday mentally prepared-- expectations lowered, patience tank reloaded.  9:30 the kids started to arrive and it was my day to greet them at the door.  As I sat there, I felt like I often do, excited to see them, awed by their cuteness, yet cautious because I know that behind those smirks lie little terrorists waiting for my moment of weakness, but not on this day.  By 10:30 I noticed that something was different, not only did they remember information from the week before, but they listened, they participated, no one faked an illness.  Not having to say, "listen to teacher" or "focus" or "Heather, you're not sick. Stop lying." made it possible for me to enjoy them.  I'm wondering if they unknowingly realize that being good benefits them as well.  When I don't have to put all my energy into getting them to comply, more energy can go into making the lessons fun and entertaining.  The lunch was even delicious on Monday.  No sneaky baby octopus.

To top off Monday's greatness-a student's mom brought a box of cheese for me as a gift.  A week earlier she had asked me in passing conversation, "what do you miss from home?" and I blurted out,  "cheeeeessseee" like an addict needing a fix.  I think she sensed the desperation.  When she handed me the box I was literally shaking with excitement.  I actually took a little Korean woman in my arms and hugged her like a kidney transplant patient would hug their donor.  I may have crossed some cultural and/or personal space boundary, but I don't really care.  That woman brought me joy that carried over to today, and hopefully will continue to through the rest of this week.  If not at least I've got a fridge full of cheese and fond memories of 2 days of teaching gone right.

still hungry

I'm just speaking for myself here, but I do not like to be surprised by baby octopus in my food.  There is a certain level of mental preparation that needs to go into eating something with tentacles.  This has become pretty difficult being that octopus seems to be the ground beef of Korea.  Octopus Helper anyone? My anxiety toward food surprises such as this have become more than unnerving, they are now downright upsetting.  So much so that my baby octopus surprise this week nearly sent me into a rage and it's really put a strain on my relationship with Korean food.  Me and Korean food...we might break up.  

Monday through Friday at noon, a handful of westerners will go upstairs and eyeball the vats of food placed out by the ajumas (old women in Korean).  After careful inspection I dish up food that I feel i'm prepared to eat...some days i'm brave and eat the sea creature dishes...other days i'm feeling less adventurous and avoid proteins all together.  On this particular day I wasn't feeling up for anything.  It was Tuesday, my most exhausting day of teaching, the kids were in a mood and I was already running on fumes.  This also happened to be a day where I had to eat with the class.  So after dishing up what I thought were fried vegetable patties and rice I headed down to eat with the 3 year olds...which also means sitting at a desk made for 3 year olds...all the while listening to 3 year olds make up excuses why they can't eat their kimchi--I know i don't speak the language, but i'm pretty sure you don't develop a headache at 12:20 everyday, Heather.  All I wanted was to down my meal and get through the day...but no...the vegetable patties that I was very much looking forward to turned out to be vegetable and baby octopus patties.  I realized this about a bit and a half into a very not vegetable type texture.  After throwing a fit worthy of a 3 year old...i dumped my food in the trash and ate my weight in cookies and whatever other unhealthy treats were in the staff lounge that day.  My 2pm crash was pretty epic. 

Since that day i've been jaded and angry at Korean food, angry because of the deceit.  Jaded because I can't eat anything without wondering what part of the animal i'm eating...or if it's something that i'm just not ready to stomach.  These food woes and anger keep me on a steady diet of Post cereal and bananas....and i've been watching reruns of Top Chief all day. Am I a masochist? Possibly. Does something need to change in either my mentality or in Korean cuisine and cooking practices? Absolutely. I'm gonna put my money on Korea...they've gotta be getting sick of octopus sometime soon...

Are you sure that's what you want to say?

It's no secret that grammatical errors and misused words are entertainment in its most pure and innocent form.  It's also especially hilarious when these errors are displayed on clothing and worn by people who have no idea how incorrect, inappropriate, or utterly random these phrases or groups of words are.  Here are a few of the sayings i've seen thus far.  I know simply seeing them written on a blog won't do them justice, but here goes anyway.

"The For Free" - This was on the back of one of my students shirts.  Is the kid for free?

"Content." - Written in big block letters on the front of a scowling, chain smoking, 17 year old's T shirt.  She didn't look super content to me.  

"English" - Sorry boo, but i'm gonna go ahead and call bullshit. 

"Rough, Laugh, Love" - I....yeah...I don't even know...

"I'm a planet cowboys fun" - Once again written on the back of a Reggio student's shirt.  I don't think his mother realized that this phrase is one apostrophe away from being all sorts of disturbing. 

and my personal favorite...

"Party like it's 1491" - I found this shirt so hilarious and random that I actually tried purchasing it from a store in the subway...unfortunately they wanted something like 20,000 won for it and I decided against it.  When I got home I immediately googled the year 1491 to see what sort of significance it held and here were the highlights: 

-A major fire broke out in Dresden

AND

-The outbreak of bread and cheese revolt in North Holland

These hardly seem like reasons to party, but i'll take it.  

Everyone back home, you will be receiving T shirts such as these for Christmas, Birthdays, Hanukkah, souvenirs etc...and you're welcome : )

I can't decide if I should call the police or give her a round of applause

Saturday morning at about 6:30 am Leah and I were headed to the subway to catch a train, which would take us to a bus, which would take us to a raft, in which we would float down a lazy river.  On our way we needed to stop by the Family Mart in our neighborhood to get some cash.  The night before we had been sitting at that very Family Mart enjoying some Friday beers with the rest of the Reggio teachers.  That night, we had talked to Chungzu (sp?) the owner of the sashimi restaurant next door to the Family Mart.  As we walked that morning to get cash I was shocked to see Chungzu, another man and 2 women sitting outside his restaurant...clearly still making it happen from the night before.  As we approached a fight broke out between one of the women and the unidentified man.  It began with some pretty standard drunk tears and yelling, but quickly escalated and before you know it, the woman picked up a soju bottle from the table and broke it on her own head.  That's when things got real.  In what must have seemed like double time to them, but in actuality it looked like wobbly sloths, everyone at the table came to their feet.  The woman then proceeded to cut Chungzu with the broken bottle, then run towards the other man...swinging wildly.  At this point Leah and I had stopped dead in our tracks...obviously dumbfounded by the scene in front of us.  For the next 30 seconds or so Chungzu restrained the woman.  All the while the second women is crying hysterically...doing her best to mediate the situation....by staggering between the separated individuals...pleading with them in Korean.  Somehow Chungzu got both women seated again...then after a few seconds of relative calm...the woman picked up another bottle and hit herself on the head repeatedly, but the bottle stayed intact this time, causing what i'm sure was a bitch of a headache.  This scene was like Jerry Springer meets Most Extreme Challenge meets a Mexican soap opera.  To say it was shocking is a complete understatement, but the more I think about it, and the more it has settled into reality, i can't help but think about how crazy badass it was.  How psycho angry do you have to be to break a bottle over your OWN head? This broad made guys who crush beer cans on their foreheads look like 6 year olds in a ballet recital.  I don't know what this dude did, but christ...watch yourself, buddy.  

Adventure Korea-ing

Yesterday a group of us took a bus out to the North East province of Korea to go 'white water rafting'...or as I like to call it 'floating down the lazy river at the MGM Grand Hotel with a helmet and life jacket'.  We all knew that 'white water rafting' would mean something very different here in Korea.  My observations during rafting more or less confirmed that Korean's aren't the most comfortable around water.  Our guides were irrationally fearful of the current and wouldn't let us swim more than 5 feet off shore.  We also saw a numerous Korean rafters wearing long sleeve chiffon shirts and white pants or button downs and khakis, which just gave me more reason to wonder what these people are thinking when they get dressed in the morning.  Even though the rafting wasn't the exciting experience we were hoping for, it was still a blast and the scenery was absolutely beautiful. 

After our relaxing white water rafting situation...Leah and I decided to go bungee jumping.  You can hear the fear in our voices when you listen to the videos.  I think bungee jumping anywhere would be pretty nerve racking.  Knowing that it's a couple strips of velcro that stand between you and certain death is a rush to say the least, but the kicker for me was not being able to communicate with the person strapping me in...i don't know why a language barrier came to mind as being an issue at this point, but hey.

Some of our pre-jump commentary.  It's not in the video, but a chick going before us jumped straight up into the air...not out like you're supposed to...then decided she didn't want to do it on her way down.  So she arches back trying to grab the ledge...scratches her entire back on the platform...then flopped off. Seriously disturbing bungee jump and it happened right before we went.

Leah's jump!

And then it was my turn!

Teaching about modes of transportation...AKA craft time for Lydia teacher.

I think they would do this all day if it was allowed.

The face of honesty...?

Women of Korea: do your feet hurt?

Have you ever wondered where the combination of denim shorts and high heels went to die? Or what happened to the, I bring a whole new meaning to the term "slick", men's shiny suit? They came to Korea.  And they took over.  Below is a picture of one of these suave suits...i'm sure you can imagine the shorts and heels combination.  





I do not understand the way people dress here. Is there a party that all of Seoul is going to except for me? Is there a rule that you must wear your Sunday best every day of the week? Korean women: do you own full length jeans? Korean men: do stores not sell long sleeve button down shirts? Or do you just choose to ignore them and head straight for the short sleeve ones? Was there some sort of study saying that wearing high heels, while walking miles a day, is good for your feet?  Overall, what the hell are you wearing?! It's 90 degrees with 80% humidity one minute and it's pouring rain, creating rivers in the street the next.  One would think being functional would trump being fashionable (very loose use of the word fashionable here) but i guess not.  I'd really love for someone to enlighten me as to why it's necessary to wear 4 inch stilettos to the grocery store...or why men favor these oh so shiny suits.  I fully intend on finding this out. To be continued...

Too many kids in the bounce house.

Today was our first fieldtrip! All of Reggio ELC piled into buses and we went to Airkidsland. Yes. Airkidsland. Right across the street from "The Dream Center".  Sometimes I wonder who the hell picks the names for these places...but that's another blog entirely.  I digress. So this Airkidsland place is like a mecca...a mecca of childhood fun and happiness. It should really be called Magicalplacewherechildrenswishesarefullfilledland.  I was completely astonished when we walked in...i can only imagine how it must have looked to a two foot tall 5 year old (3 years old to us westerners). The ceilings in this whimsical warehouse are probably 100 feet high, there are 60 foot slides, mini cars, bumper boats, arcade games, multiple bounce houses, mini roller coasters, trains, and probably like 50 other things that I didn't see.  This place is a child's heaven.  There were multiple times today where I silently wished I was under the age of 10, but let me also say that being 23 did not stop me from having a fantastic time.  As a matter-of-fact there was one point in the bounce house that I had to check myself, because I was having too much fun.  Somehow a game of dodgeball had broken out and my involvement in the game began as a way to get my students to participate, but before you know it I was actually winding up and throwing balls at 7 year olds from another school.  My sobering moment came when I nailed one of the kids in the face and got a serious death glare from an adult onlooker.  Along with being looked at as a complete idiot, by who i'm assuming was a Korean mom, there was one more negative thing about Airkidsland...the smell.  It was stronger in some places than others, but anywhere you went there was a twinge of hot rubber, feet, and vomit.  All of which made sense...but didn't do much for the experience.  Smell or not, Airkidsland is beyond amazing and if my E2 visa covered that type of employment they'd already have my resume.  

You can't be serious. You're serious? Seriously?

The incident i'm going to write about actually occurred on Wednesday, but I've been so miffed that finally today I feel like I can write about it without being hateful towards a 3 year old.  I should start off by saying that Korean parents/adults are very nurturing towards their children and I mean very very nurturing...the tiniest scratch gets a bandaid...a bump on the head gets a full on 5-10 minute consoling session...the mention of a stomach ache gets everybody worked up in a tizzy.  This is hard for me being that I tend to support a more tough love approach.  Although I don't believe in coddling kids, I also don't believe in physically hurting children.  Duh. Specifically, I don't agree with pinching children...but this is exactly what i was accused of doing on Wednesday.  One of my lovely pupils decided to go home and tell her mother that i pinched her...not once...but twice during school on Tuesday...so much so that I made her cry.  Normally a child's imaginative story like this wouldn't even make me flinch...in the states it's pretty common knowledge that 3 year old kids make things up...not in Korea.  The idea that a child would fabricate such a thing is preposterous to parents here.  Not only did the mother of said child not believe that I hadn't pinched her kid...she also wondered if someone who pinches kids should be teaching in a kindergarten.  This is a genuine concern.  I don't think anybody feels good about a pinch happy kindergarten teacher, but i am not one of those crazed pinchers. I think the last time I pinched someone seriously was in the 3rd grade, so you can imagine how frustrating it was to be accused of this.  Along with the frustration, i'm supposed to go on acting like nothing is bothering me, when inside all i wanna do is call this 3 year old a liar and tell her to cool it or she's gonna get Lydia teacher fired.  Thankfully the principal was once a teacher...and after getting the little liar to admit she had fabricated the story she called the mother personally.  Unfortunately, the mother still believes her daughter is the victim in all this, but she wants to keep her in my class.  I'm glad it's all passed, but I'd be lying if I said I don't think about it every time I look at the little liars little face.

tv

I'm not sure how Korea gets its licenses for American shows...but from what i'm gathering it seems like one of those tj maxx/ross sort of situations, but for tv.  Things that weren't popular in the US,  never got released, or shows that may have only lasted half a season are on all the time here.  I'm also wondering if there is some sort of rule banning movies that got more than a 2 star rating....hmm.  Last night's prime time slot went to the cinematic genius, Van Helsing staring Kate Beckinsale and Hugh Jackman.  Sadly, i watched the entire thing...riveted because it was the only thing on television i could understand.  The night before i was hypnotized by the incredibly realistic action flick, The Transporter with Jason Statham....in which Mr. Statham not only manages to stop the spread of a deadly virus, but jumps out of a 3rd story window w/o breaking a bone AND survives a plane crash unscathed.  I actually think that this movie may have been popular in the US...? If so...wow.  Honestly, i wish having the TV on wasn't such a comfort right now because i get so riddled with guilt after i watch these films from start to finish.  At any rate! It's the weekend here and i've vowed to not turn on my television.  Not even for a second because i know that if I do, i'll be sucked into a Terminator Salvation induced hypnosis and spend my entire day watching Christian Bale over act.

look both ways...or don't...

In the short week i've been in this city, there is one thing i've come to realize: my life does not matter to Korean drivers.  Along with that, i'm not sure people walking around Seoul really care about living.  There is complete disregard on both ends.  I don't know why they even bother with stop lights/turn lanes/cross walks/directions of traffic.  The city should really do itself a favor and stop making cross walk signals altogether...i'm more than positive that i'm the only person currently using them in the Seocho Gu District.  It seems the only useful thing on the road here is the horn.  You can tell by the length and amount of aggression behind each honk just how close the driver is to clipping you with their car.  It's also a nice warning to other drivers that their vehicle is about to be severely damaged.  But with that said...the people driving cars in Seoul don't hold a candle to the people operating scooters.  If there are laws regarding scooter traffic...actually scratch that thought...there is no way.  Scooter drivers do whatever they want, whenever they want. If they get sick of the road, they move to the sidewalk.  Red light taking too long? They run it.  If they do decide to pause at a red, they may be trying to go the other direction...in which case they use the crosswalk as a shortcut.  It's like scooter drivers straddle the line of pedestrian and motor vehicle operator...picking whichever one suits them best at that moment.  Just to drive the point home...Today I saw a man driving a scooter beyond recklessly with...no joke...an 8 foot tall object propped and bungee corded to his back.  It's insane.  It's entertaining and from what i've heard it's nothing compared to the crazy driving in other Asian countries.  Can't wait to see that.

I'm hungry.

So I was really hoping to be all Anthony Bourdain about this experience. Come to Korea. Try a ton of new foods.  Maybe go to a restaurant...tell them to bring whatever they want.  Just to be overall fearless when dining.  As it turns out i'm terrified of dining in Korea.  It's proven to be a pretty intimidating thing.  Outside everything looks the same to me...flashing signs, new smells, loud noises...i'm completely over stimulated.  Obviously, there is the issue of communication...I don't speak Korean and very few people in my neighborhood speak English. These concerns have tethered me to within 5 blocks of my apartment without some sort of guide.  Last night, after trying to curb my hunger with chex mix and beef jerky, I finally decided to stop being so ridiculous, get up, get out, and get some real food.  Within a block of my apartment I was feeling defeated.  It was like I could feel the distance growing between me and my building. Along with that, not having any knowledge of Korean food makes it really difficult to know what to order.  So after about 15 minutes of walking around I conceded and came home.  Safe to say that this really irked me.  I did not come all this way to go to bed having only eaten some chex mix, beef jerky, and a handful of dry cereal.  And if i am ever going to have a show on the Travel Channel and be like my idol Anthony Bourdain...i need to grow a pair.  So today, like a student, I asked my Korean teaching aid to name some dishes for me to try and tonight, all by myself, I went out and ordered bi bim bop.  I can't say it was the greatest thing i've ever had, but it did beat last night's dinner.  Small victories.

Also a success story. No allergic reactions today, the whole class counted to 10 and letters A through C are on lock : )

dazed and confused

There is a game I played in elementary school...and a couple times at UCSB come to think of it.  In this game you have a team of players, one person at a time puts there forehead on a bat and spins around it as fast as they can 10 or some odd times.  Then you try and sprint to the end of a designated area and shoot a basket.  I can not think of a better way of describing my first day of school then comparing it to this game.  You wait nervously for your turn and when it finally comes you're so jacked on adrenaline that you slam your head into the bat before you even get around to spinning.  About 2 spins in it feels like you're gonna vomit and you can't believe you have 8 more to go.  Then once you finally do finish spinning you run in the wrong direction. Stagger. Fall down. Get up. Run in the wrong direction again.  Run into someone. Fall again.  Crawl to your feet. At last you regain some sort of balance. Then you have to shoot a ball into a hoop.  It's like a never ending train wreck and it was my first day of school.  I guess I should have braced myself being that right out of the gate one of my students had an allergic reaction to the am snack and broke out in hives all over her body.  It can't be a good sign when you're asking for a doctor/nurse in the first 15 minutes of your teaching career.  By lunch I was seriously questioning my decision to be here and by mid afternoon I was more or less catatonic.  My only saving grace was a 5 year old named Heather, whom after a day of flashcards and books, was able to identify a monkey and I think with a little more time she might have gotten the tiger.  I saw it in her eyes...she almost had it.  T minus 12 hours till the beginning of day 2.  My goal between now and then is to find God.  Wish me luck.

Itaewon. Taco Bell. Realizing i'm a foreigner.

Last night a group of us went out for a birthday celebration in Itaewon.  Itaewon is a district in Seoul that has a high concentration of foreigners.  In this district you can find anything. Literally. Anything. Any kind of food, all sorts of stores, all sorts of hookers.  Yes hookers.  I'm not oblivious to the fact that prostitution is everywhere...people gotta make a livin...but i've never seen it on such full display and with such a wide array of options.  I really must give ups to the creativity of these ladies and lady boys.  Very creative indeed.  After strolling Itaewon for a bit, the birthday boy decided he wanted Taco Bell for his b day dinner.  I don't think i can put into words the craze that was Taco Bell,  Itaewon.  3 story building. Line out the door. Supreme nachos everywhere.  While sitting at the table enjoying some chips with my soju, we were discussing the popularity of US chains in Korea and at some point i simply said, "well we are foreigners".  For some reason hearing those words come out of my mouth sent me into a mini panic attack.  I felt tears welling up in my eyes...my heart started racing...all i could think was "what the fuck am i doing?" After a minute or so I relaxed and rejoined conversation, but there in that minute i had a real gut check...something that i'm expecting many more of during the course of this next year.  I guess I just didn't think my first sobering moment of realization would happen in a Taco Bell of all places.  Never the less, realizing you are an outsider is a very humbling experience, one i'm very glad i had.  Maybe next time i'll have one in McDonalds, Starbucks or perhaps a Quiznos?  The possibilities are endless!

Love Hotels

Woke up this morning with a bit of a soju induced hangover.  Last night a bunch of the other Reggio teachers and i went to eat at Korean BBQ spot right by The Liz.  Still fighting the jet lag i needed quite a bit of soju and tiger beer to be social.  Overall, dinner was delicious and it was great to be around foreign teachers.  During dinner all the teachers took great joy in informing me of the primary function of The Liz.  Being that many young Koreans live with their parents they often book rooms at 'love hotels'.  This information completely made clear the condoms and massage oils provided by the hotel...and although i'm stoked that The Liz promotes safe sex practices, i had a tough time crawling into bed last night.  I'm most definitely excited to get moved into my apartment. 

something tells me I shouldn't be paying this much...

My first experience dining in Seoul wasn't a homerun by any means.  Woke up around 6am full of excitement and hunger.  I was feeling brave so I decided to wander outside my hotel a bit...and by wander i mean i walked around the block.  In a small street I saw a sign with a drawn picture of a bowl with noodles...seemed promising. When I walked in i was noticeably not welcome...it seemed to be a gathering of sorts...one that i wasn't invited to.  So i quickly made my exit and ran right into a run down little restaurant with some old men drinking beer and smoking cigarettes.  I felt no judgment here.  Saying hello to the host quickly dispelled any idea of communication through speaking...so i pointed at the first picture of food i saw, smiled, shrugged my shoulders and said "please?"  About 5 minutes later a bowl of cold, green soupy noodles came to my table.  I'm more than positive it wasn't the same dish I had pointed to, but i didn't feel this was the place to start a debate.  I sat there on the floor...drank my cold noodles in silence.  The paying portion of the meal was no better...being that i payed 7,000 won...which was most likely a total rip off. None the less! First meal in Korea done. On to the next one.

a jumble of thoughts...

delirious after 16 hours of travel.

every person i talk to i wonder if they will be a travel buddy or potential bestie...unfortunately i don't think they see our conversations as quite so meaningful.

slippers everywhere.

i feel like an infant. i can't understand what anyone's saying and they can't understand me...so i make weird faces and random noises to try and get my point across.

saw a big field of greenhouses and i wonder what's growing in them...maybe corn?

i need to learn the metric system.

isn't military time supposed to be easier???

i keep staring at korean symbols trying to figure out what they mean. pretty sure i know what the symbol for 'man' is. if someone can confirm or deny that it looks like an upside down Y I'd appreciate it.

it. is. hot. the kind of sticky heat that makes you wanna strip your clothes off as soon as you get in an air conditioned taxi kind of hot.

i feel like i'm in the middle of a video game.

this place is captivating. 

'getting ready'

 

From Okanogan to..........





Believe it or not...it's not easy to find an artistic aerial night time view of the Okanogan skyline...

Two more days before I head off to Seoul to "teach' the eager students of the Reggio Emelia School. Currently my anxiety level is on red alert, so instead of preparing by doing things like packing or organizing...i decided to choose templates and color pallets for this blog.  Maybe i'll feel ready to pack after reading a few more pages of 'Eat, Pray, Love"...which has turned out to be more or less a self help book wrapped in some sarcasm, mixed with some cynicism.  As long as it's not found in the self help section of Barnes and Noble I can read it with a clean conscience...being that right now I could use a little boost of confidence and a story of travels gone right.