The Package

The few times i've received mail here in Korea it's been an absolutely joyful experience.  It's so exciting when a letter or package comes to Reggio.  Typically everyone knows when someone's expecting something because it's such a big event. When the boxes finally arrive, everyone gathers to see what goodies and treats are inside, and naturally everyone gets a little envious of the person receiving said packages.  A few weeks ago my mom asked me for a list of things I need/want because she was getting one of these boxes of treasures ready to ship off to Korea.  Little did I know that my mom had a few ideas of her own on how to make this package stand out. 

Lack of communication was the first problem in this incident.  I don't know if I hadn't been clear, or if what I was telling my mom just didn't register (most likely the latter. i love you mom) but somehow it was lost that I was going to be away from Reggio for 9 days.  I have no idea what my apartment address is, so all my mail is sent to the school.  On the Thursday before vacation I was skyping her, discussing my Chuseok plans and she balked, totally tensing up when she realized I was going to be away for over a week.  I quickly asked what the problem was and she reluctantly told me about the surprise fresh apples she had packed from the orchard by our house.  I tried not to laugh because she was obviously upset, but I did ask, as sensitively as possible, what she was thinking when she chose to do this.  The next day at school I hoped that maybe the package would arrive, thus preventing the rotten apple box that would be waiting for me after the Chuseok Holiday, but no luck.

Vacation came and went and Monday felt like Christmas morning.  I practically skipped up the hill on the way to school.  At this point it'd been well over 2 weeks since she sent everything, so it should surely be there waiting for me, fermented apples or not I was stoked.  I arrived at school and quickly asked reception if I had any mail, or maybe it was something more along the lines of "hi hi hi hi!!! where's my package?!?!"  Eugene, our receptionist looked at me and said, "mmm, no package."  Bummed, but still hopeful I went to class, assuring myself that it must be coming later in the day, things may have been backed up from the holiday.  Once in the classroom I heard someone yelling my name from reception area and I sprinted out the door.  As I was running I saw 2 USPS packages and I began screaming "YAY!" and jumping up and down.  Right before I reached the steps, one of the Korean teachers said, "Not for you. For Karin teacher."  All of the air taken out of my sails, I headed back and started class.

Midway through the morning my co-teacher excitedly came into the room, handed me a letter and asked "is this what you are wait for?!" I worked hard to keep all my thoughts inside, said ''thank you".  At this point i'd completely stopped teaching class and was ripping the letter open.  Once opened I saw 3 papers and a brochure.  The pages read "CONTAMINATION....blah blah blah blah blah (by blah i mean Korean writing) blah blah blah blah blah blah...QUARANTINE.....blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...2.3kg APPLES....blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...INCINERATION...." I gasped and frantically started waving the papers in front of my co-teachers face, shushing the kids to be quite so I could find out what was going on with my package.  After 30 seconds or so of agony she said, "i think they burn it." I started to panic...that's when i'm assuming my co-teacher realized that if they burned this whole package it would ruin the rest of my week, and in turn make hers more difficult as well, so she kindly offered to call the quarantine center and figure out what was going on.  After talking it over with a few different people she found out that they were only going to incinerate the apples and the rest of my package should arrive within the week.

Three long days later, the non perishable and parasite free items made it to Reggio.  By this point everyone had heard about the contamination letter and they'd seen me fretting around the school, my co-teacher was especially excited to see the arrival of the package.  My excitement definitely got the best of me and I finished a snickers, nearly a bag of dried apples, 10 truffles, and snack pack of Oreos before I even left school.  When I realized that it will most likely be a while before I get another one of these precious gifts, I decided to ration the goods and now i'm down to a couple chocolates a day.  Apples or not, it was the best part of my week! Thanks so much Maaam. You da best!!!!!

"Well that was horrible."

Just got back from a beautiful week in Seoraksan National Park.  We did some white water rafting (actually scary this time) some hiking, and lots of noribang-ing (karaoke bar).  Even though the week was amazing and I loved being outdoors and seeing other parts of Korea, I was really excited to get back to Seoul and to do some things I haven't had the chance to do yet.  One of the things on my list was to visit the wildly popular Dongdaemun Shopping Center...an area famous for its amazing selection of cheap and fashionable clothing, accessories and shoes.  What I learned this weekend is you get a lot more than you bargain for in Dongdaemun.

A couple girls I work with hadn't been there either, so we all hopped on the subway Friday afternoon, excited to go see the place everyone is always buzzing about.  As we walked up to one of the building's entrances, I decided I needed a snack to tie me over.  There are dozens of vendors lining the streets of Dongdaemun with sausages, corndogs, and chicken.  I opted for the chicken on a stick, which tasted good, but i'm pretty sure it was undercooked, despite that little fact I ate it all anyway--with my current diet i'm in no place to turn down meat.  Snack finished we walked into one of the buildings and immediately you're punched in the face--total sensory overload.  Each floor is a maze of clothing, each 15x15 foot square is a different vendor, but on any given floor you could have a bakers dozen vendors selling the same clothing, so the trick is to haggle.  Obviously negotiating prices means knowing how to understand/speak Korean.  Between the 3 of us we know how to say "hello", how to count to 10, and how to say "thank you". 

It took a while to get my eyes to stop darting, and to focus on clothing rather than the chaotic feel of the place.  Thumbing through the racks trying to find something potentially purchasable, and immediately one of the people working would be right on my tail, organizing the items i'd just moved, standing so close that you'd think we had some sort of long standing friendship, where personal space boundaries don't apply.  What i've heard is that it's considered polite to show attention to costumers, but this just felt super odd to me.  Not only do I find it uncomfortable when a complete strangers is breathing on my back, but I couldn't help but feel like they thought I was going to have a flash back moment to middle school and try out shoplifting again. Whenever people hoover like that in the states, it's because you look sketchy, wearing a trench coat with darting eyes.  I understand the darting eyes part, but there was no trench coat anywhere on my person.

If and when I did find something worth buying, asking to try things on creates a whole new level of anxiety.  I'd stand there and wait for the individual working to stop the pretend organization, and then i'd do some really obvious, and i'm sure obnoxious, motion of putting on a pretend sweater or jacket.  At that point they'd start mumbling things to one another in Korean, and I could sense that my business wasn't appreciated.  In total, I think I tried on 2 items of clothing. By then I could see the trend and I wasn't going to go through that for a third time. 

It didn't take long for me to grow discouraged at this outing.  Along with the uncomfortable aspect, there were no price tags on anything and when i'd get up the courage to ask "how much" in Korean, they'd size me up then throw out a price, i'm sure higher because i'm a foreigner.  After what seemed like ages, but was closer to an hour and a half, we'd all had enough and we left Dongdaemun empty handed, feeling slightly pathetic, yet more motivated than ever to get started with Korean language lessons.  October can't come soon enough.

In Your Face

Brian has an obsession with smelling things.   Literally everything he touches immediately goes to his nose so he can get a whiff; bracelets, pictures, food, paint, etc...  Earlier this week we were working on our ocean and Brian wanted to know what blue paint smells like.  When he brought his paintbrush to his nose, he got a little too close, then he tried wiping it off which created the hilarious little mishap in the above photo.  My co-teacher seemed a bit concerned because my initial reaction wasn't one of worry.  Instead I started laughing and yelled "grab the camera" and began holding Brian's hands to prevent him from wiping it off before we got a picture. 

Once a week the kids get these little 'yogurts'  as the dessert for their lunches...I tried one during my first week of school and after one sip I realized that consuming the entire thing would surely give me type 2 diabetes.  I would not be shocked if there were over 80 grams of sugar in the little 4 oz orange container.  Never the less, the school keeps putting them in the kids lunches.  Each time all of cat class goes ape shit for this fruit flavored simple syrup and understandably so, it's basically crack.  After consuming one of these containers of rocket fuel Jessica, who is normally relatively calm and reserved, turned psychotic, hair a mess, running around screaming and shouting.  It was like she was possessed.   She had kept one of the little bottles well after lunch had ended and was continually sucking all the air out so it would make a suction around her mouth.  Once I realized what she was doing I took it and threw it away, but it was too late, the damage was done.  She'd successfully given herself 2 hickeys that very closely resembled a hitler mustache.  I thought this was hilarious, but her mother did not.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bA4Ni0Mmwdo

Above is a video from class.  Everyone is showing their bowing techniques.  What the video doesn't show is me attempting to demonstrate proper bowing techniques...why the class plan has the western teachers demonstrating this is beyond me.

Odd

This week has been weird.  Everyone has been anxiously awaiting our 9 day vacation.  Chuseok is next week and I for one am really excited to get out and explore a little bit.  All of the Reggio staff is counting down the minutes till 5:30 on Friday, when everyone will be free to go off on their mini adventures.  It seems everyone is having some difficulty focusing, or caring rather, and the students are absolutely taking advantage.  My student, Ryan, aka the poster child for ADHD has been especially hyperactive and defiant these past few days - flailing all over the place.  Two students have peed their pants this week and the overall air of Cat Class is one of indifference...myself included.  This break will give everyone the time they need to recuperate a bit. I for one will get as far away from children as i can, therefore making it possible for me to deal with the new crop of issues my students will surely develop with in the next month or so. This week's situation has been surprising, to say the least.

Over the last 5 days my students decided that we've known each other long enough and it's alright for them to grab my boobs, grab my butt and to look up my skirt.  I was not expecting this from kindergarteners - middle schoolers definitely, elementary school kids maybe, but kindergarteners?! Really?! I keep hearing that this is pretty normal behavior, but it's so off putting when you're trying to read a story and a 3 year old walks over and manhandles your boobies.  Normal or not, the timeout chair has been a popular hang out for all members of Cat Class this week-boys and girls.  I nearly tripped over one the girls in my class when I went to take a step back and there she was, on hands and knees staring up my dress.  Safe to say i've decided to hang the skirts up for a while and keep to a pants only dress code until this phase passes.

Strangely, the start of the NFL season has given me my first real case of homesickness.  Which is weird for a lot of reasons, but mostly because i'm not a huge football fan.  I think it's the Sunday afternoon activities that I miss.  This Tuesday a group of us went to a Canadian bar called Rocky Mountain Tavern in the foreigner district to watch the Monday night football games.  One of my co-workers is a football enthusiast and an avid Bear's fan.  All day Tuesday she steered clear of sports websites and social media to avoid learning the outcomes of the games prematurely. This wasn't the first time i've felt severely removed from everything back home, but it's the first time that i've actually cared.  Maybe it's the fact that the only thing I have on my TV are Korean period pieces depicting bloody battles between Korean warriors and foreign invaders and CSI...Miami...not even normal CSI.   I highly doubt that hearing Mike Ditka's commentary about the Steeler's defense or the Cardinal's offensive line will continue to be the catalyst for my homesickness, but it was this week.

Overall I can't wait for this vacation.  I think getting out of Seoul will be a good change of pace and although i'm nowhere close to sick of it yet, I am excited for some new scenery.  Here's to hoping that my students move out of their current phase quickly, if I had to choose i'd honestly say i'd rather have them stealing and using toy stegosauruses as weapons, but it's become very clear that I don't call the shots in Cat Class, so until this is over...jeans it is.

PerPet

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about coffee shops? ...Yes exactly...Dogs.  A coffee shop just doesn't feel complete without 30 some odd dogs running around yapping at your feet, right?  Last night was my first time at a pet cafe, and I'll never be satisfied with a regular Coffee Bean again.

As i've said before, you don't see many animals in Seoul and the ones you do see are pretty mangey - mostly feral cats and i've heard of some ferret sightings. Some people have little dogs, but since space is so limited here, most people just do without...unless you're in the country...then you see big dogs...but they are not pets :(  So when I heard about these pet cafes it sounded like a cute idea and when my friend suggested we meet their for coffee I was semi excited.  I thought to myself, "this will be nice, I do miss animals"...I had no idea what kind of twisted hell I was about to walk into.

At first everything seemed cute enough, lots of people sitting around, drinking coffee and eating cakes or donuts.  There were dozens of pomeranians, bijon frises and other miniature creatures playfully running around at peoples feet.  As we were finding a place to sit, I still hadn't had time to absorb the scene that was going on all around.  Once we were situated and things started to register the first thing I realized was the smell.  It was so off putting... not a sent that made one crave food or beverage.  Upon further inspection I started noticing puddles...puddles of pee....obviously causing the smell and causing my appetite to disappear entirely.  Soon after noticing the pee, I noticed someone going around "cleaning up" the situations.  What I saw next only disturbed me further.  The designated pee cleaner upper was armed with a bottle of water and a dirty mop.  I watched as he'd approach the piddle, threw some water on it, then move it all around with the mop.  Mind you, this is after a handful of dogs had already ran through the pee, and were then scooped up to join someone at their table.  It quickly became clear that I was going to have to monitor my facial expressions throughout this coffee date.

Along with the pee and smell, there was the noise.  I feel like little dogs are always disproportionately loud for their size.  Maybe it's because it's their only real defense against things they don't like.  Things like being held against their will or being smooshed against someone's breasts.  Yet this was exactly what every Korean in PerPet was doing, they were holding these little dogs hostage.  As soon as they'd snatch one off the ground, they'd attempt to cradle it like a baby, or throw it over their shoulder like they were burping an infant, or they'd just hold onto their collar and not let it go, blatantly ignoring the dog's cries for freedom.  I don't know if everyone in their was a control freak, or if they just needed a friend, or if that constant yapping wasn't registering as a sign that the dogs were not enjoying the attention, but I do know that the noise in this place was deafening.  So much so that I began wondering if people came here for coffee when they'd rather not converse with their company...

Between the noise, the smell and the overall anxious feel of the place, I was on the verge of a panic attack/migraine within 10 minutes of sitting down.  My friend is from Korea and these places are a popular hang out, I didn't want to be disrespectful, but after 30 minutes I couldn't take it anymore and I asked if we could relocate.  Animals are wonderful and I miss them very much, but i'll do without for the next year or so if it means I never have to go back to a place like that again.

too much

Thursday was our second field trip and it really was quite a trip.  At 9:30 all the kids arrived dressed in their traditional Korean hanboks.  Let me just say that seeing 80 kids between the ages of 5 and 3 dressed in these vibrant ensembles is quite a sight.  Before we left all the Korean staff was abuzz about the rainy forecast.  Their anxiety towards falling drops of water magnified because all the students were wearing floor length gowns that cost upwards of 200 dollars.  
All of Cat Class looked adorable, but within 15 seconds of the first one walking through the doors I knew these outfits were going to be a problem.  Traditional clothing only comes out every so often for a couple of reasons.  First, because it's important and holds meaning, therefore its only used for special occasions. Secondly, and obviously, because traditional clothing is often incredibly uncomfortable.  Under normal circumstances these kids would be wearing their hanboks for a couple hours at most, on Thursday they were slated to be draped with these yards of fabric for 6.  
As we were ushering them to the bus I realized that the term "slow and steady wins the race" was going to be the day's theme at Namsangol Hanok Village.  During the bus ride I saw just how close 2 cars can get without actually touching and now I understand why they have seat belts in all the Reggio school buses.  
Our first activity at the traditional village was to learn about the tea ceremony.  I really enjoyed this part of the day.  It was early so the students still had a slight attention span and the hanboks weren't totally driving them insane.  The rain hadn't really started, so the crazed hoards searching for shelter hadn't formed either.  

Movin and Shakin

Cat Class's second activity was learning about traditional Korean drums.  During this period, they sat down 22 three year old children in front of drums and gongs and let them go at it.  This activity was not cute -- it was slightly disastrous.  The noise was deafening, the activity lasted far too long and a member of Koala Class almost lost an eye. One of her classmates forgot about body control and hit her in the face with her gong mallet --there were some tears.  I spent most of this activity hiding behind a wooden pillar.  I was avoiding the noise and flying drum sticks.  

Dumpling Daniel

Jessica's mini gong

Then came lunch time. That's when the real action happened.  We'd been go go go all morning, the drum torture had gone a little over time and the kids didn't have their morning snack, so to say they were starving is an understatement.  As soon as they were done with the drums they started to fall apart a bit so we hustled to the meeting area where all of their lunches were waiting.  Once we got everyone situated we quickly handed out their lunch boxes, which were full of kim bop, fruit and packages of airy Korean snacks. As they sat there quietly consuming their food their food, I was impressed with their appetites, being that sometimes they don't eat very much at all. During this time I had eaten my kim bop too quickly and was dealing with a case of hick-ups. After about 20 minutes everyone had finished their food and most the kids were talking and playing.  I was cleaning up wrappers and containers when all of a sudden WoongJay hunched over and began vomiting.  Just like me, he had eaten too much too quickly, but his little body couldn't handle it.  Like a ninja I swooped in with a bag and started directing all the other kids to sit down on the other side of the mat.  A member of Giraffe Class was rocking back and forth and nearly destroyed her hanbok in the pile of puke.  Once he stopped throwing up, I took him to the bathroom to get cleaned up, at this point it was raining pretty hard and I didn't bother grabbing an umbrella - i figured the water might be kinda helpful.  After I got the little guy all cleaned up he was good as new, mildly embarrassed, but feeling fine.
Also during lunch a member of Elephant Class had an allergic reaction to his Hanbok.  Leo's skin broke out in hives and his face had swollen like a balloon.  When I heard this, I went on a rant, questioning whose decision it was to have these kids dress like this.  It was cute for photographs, but cleaning up vomit, dealing with allergies, and getting them from place to place is hard enough without having to deal with decorated shoes and floor length gowns.  Maybe re-think this for next year Reggio.  

The back of WoongJay's head

The rest of the day was relatively pain free.  They learned the proper techniques to bowing and made mini hanboks out of Korean paper.  Keeping all the kids together as we moved from activity to activity was exhausting and dealing with everyone fretting around trying to stay dry had gotten on my nerves, so when the Reggio buses arrived to take us back I gladly hopped on.  The day was done, everyone had a good time, but hopefully next months field trip doesn't involve traditional regalia, gongs or vomit.

Playing with rain.  By the end of the day the Reggio students were more popular than the actual exhibits.

 

Now say you're sorry.

Of course last week was too good to be true.  I should have known it was some sort of glitch, an accident of fate.  This week's developments have left me with wrinkles on my forehead, stress aches in my back, and some serious concerns about where these kids observed this behavior.  What was once a calm, kind and pleasant environment has turned into a scene from Training Day, the kindergarten version.  Theft, gang activity and random acts of violence are taking place all over Cat Class and i'm having some trouble stopping it.  

I will start with the theft problem that's developed.  Every toy that is picked up by a student, no matter how small, no matter how insignificant, will become the most sought after object in the classroom.  Once it's in the possession of someone, everyone wants it.  One student will just walk up to another student and attempt to wrestle whatever the object is out of their hands.  I have no idea how many times I screamed "SHARE" or "look right here...there are 15 more just like it" during playtime today.  During outside play, kids were even stealing sand from one another. Sand! It was absurd.

The gang activity has become a pretty big problem.  The leader of the girls gang is none other than Heather.  I can't understand what the little villain is saying, but I can tell from her tone and the look in those crazy little eyes that it's nothing nice.  She'll walk up to the boys gang, which is lead by Ryan, steal something from him, then say something with so much attitude that you'd think she's a 15 year old with daddy issues on the Jerry Springer Show.

The problems with the boys gang are more internal.  The building block area is where they like to hang out and it's become the South Central of Cat Class.  If I stop paying attention for a second, you can bet money that something will go down.  Today I looked away for maybe 5 seconds, when I turned back around Ryan was hitting David with the tail of a toy stegosaurus.  David then screamed at the top of his lungs and close fist punched Ryan in the face.  I was so shocked that I screamed "what the fuck?!" at the top of my lungs--which subsequently threw off my anger because I started looking around to see if any adults heard. Once I realized I was in the clear, I refocused my anger and grabbed the 2 delinquents. Both of them began pleading their case in Korean.  Obviously I was on David's side, but I had to be fair so I made them apologize to each other, which feels super pointless because they don't know what it means, then they each sat in timeout for 3 minutes.  Later in the day I walked in the classroom to see Ryan choking out one of the other boys, Brian.  I don't know what caused this outburst, but I can say that seeing a 3 year old attempt to choke out another 3 year old is kinda like those dreams where you're punching underwater.  The effort to do some damage is there, but the result is pretty minuscule.  Brian didn't even seemed phased by Ryan's attempted UFC move, but I'm pretty worried about all this child's aggression.

Tomorrow is our second field trip and all the other foreign teachers are excited to have a day off from teaching.  I, however, am terrified.  We're going to a traditional Korean house and the kids are learning all about Choseok activities (Korean Thanksgiving) tea ceremonies, bowing, and other important Korean traditions.  They will also be dressed in traditional Korean clothing, or hanboks.  With the way my kids have been behaving this week I would not be at all surprised if Ryan decided to pee in a fountain or if Heather just dumped hot tea on an elder.  Here's to hoping they can curb this rebellious streak for tomorrow.  I would really hate for Cat Class to be known as the group that disgraced Korean history and tradition.

That's not where i'm trying to go with this...

Hmm. This is odd and I've been trying to figure out how to fix it, but the fact that I got this blog up and running is a miracle in itself...fixing whatever i've done is going to be near impossible.

For some reason, my blog is being lumped together with religious blogs, blogs about families, blogs about personal faith, and blogs about premature babies.  This is not a joke.  Maybe I mislabeled it? Maybe I haven't been using enough swear words? Too many pictures of kids? I do use the word 'christ' and 'jesus' a lot...and I did already use the word 'miracle' in this post.  

If anyone has any advice on how to get in with the cynical/sarcastic/slightly culturally insensitive blogs please let me know.

Love/Hate/Miss

So i've officially been a resident of Seoul for 1 month and here are some things I'm loving, some things I'm hating, and some things I miss very much.

Loving
-Free entertainment everywhere.  I can't walk down the block without being drawn in by something--a sign, an article of clothing, odd behavior..etc.
 -The students of Cat Class.  As annoying and frustrating as they can be, they are always excited to see me, it doesn't take much to make them laugh, they're adorable and for the most part they are easy to please.  In a lot of ways they are much easier to be around than adults.
-The random weather.  It seems like it would be frustrating or irritating to never be prepared for the weather, or to never know what to expect, but i'm kinda enjoying it.  It keeps things interesting. Also, a lot of Koreans act like they'll melt if water touches them, so it's pretty hysterical to see them freaking out trying to stay dry. Lastly, I have a slight obsession with thunder and lightening and we have that frequently here.
-My apartment.  It's small. I have to shower over my sink because there is no designated shower or tub in my bathroom.  My washer has directions in Korean so doing laundry is a crap shoot every time. For about a week I couldn't get it off the spin cycle.  I don't have an oven...only a little 2 burner range, but my bed is decently comfortable and despite all its short comings, it's really started to feel like home.
-Soju. No need to explain that.
-Getting mail!!!! 50-11 Banpo-dong, Seocho-Gu/Seoul, South Korea 137-040  ; )

Hating
-Being stared at like a zoo animal.  I can only imagine what it's like to be a blonde in this city.  On the subway people make no effort to hide their blatant stares and whispers.  It's a constant reminder that we're outsiders.
-Baby octopus, red bean paste, the smell of seaweed and kimchi.  There I said it. I hate kimchi. I hate it. And I'm probably going to get deported now. 
-The spitting.  Everyone is constantly spitting.  It's disgusting.  And i'm not talking like a little spat here and there. I'm talking like really aggressive throat clearing, followed by an equally aggressive projectile. The other day, as I walked down the stairs of my apartment, the ajuma in front of me just hawked one on the stairs.  This is inside mind you....communal space.  Thanks Granny.
-The driving.  I don't like the fact that there is no such thing as the right-of-way and I feel like i'm playing chicken with automobiles when i cross the street. 

Missing
-Family and friends. Obviously. 
-Seeing animals.  The only creatures running around are stray cats and little rat dogs in purses.  I saw a pregnant stray cat the other day and I thought seriously about following it, catching it, and keeping some kittens.
-Bread that doesn't taste like air.  For some reason a lot of Korean snacks have this really weird air quality...like puffy cheetos.
-Chocolate that hasn't been sitting on a shelf since 1987.  The last Snickers bar I bought had actually started to turn white. I ate it anyway.

Aside from all the things I love/hate/miss, I can't believe it's already been a month.  It really does feel like I just got here 5 minutes ago.  Time does fly when you're busy cleaning up pee/eating octopus/being called a prostitute/dodging cars/laughing at people's clothing/bungee jumping/being accused of pinching children/watching chicks hit themselves over the head with bottles/having an overall great time.  So hey Kim Jong Il...can you stay calm for the next 11 months or so? I'd be pretty pissed if you ruined this for me. Thanks, buddy. 

adorable monsters

Playing in the bounce house. 

Operating their little vehicles. 

Lunch time with the kiddies.  Such stimulating conversation whenever I dine with Cat Class and seating arrangements are so very comfortable. 

David's sea turtle.  This child is the light of my life.

"What's your name?" "My name DAVID!"

David at Airkidsland.  I selfishly convinced a 3 year old to go down the 50 foot slide so I could go too. 

Jessica passed out after Airkidsland. 

Show and tell

This little dumpling is Daniel.  He's very good at coloring. 

Is that...aww yep he peed his pants.

Nothing ruins the appetite quite like a kid wetting their pants.  Wait.  Rephrase. Nothing ruins the appetite quite like having to clean up after a kid who wets their pants.  If I just saw some random kid peeing down his leg I'm pretty sure it wouldn't phase me.  I'd probably just look at the person cleaning up after the child and think, "too bad for you".  Well today, it was "too bad for me". 

Before I get into the messy details, I just want to say that kids are disgusting little creatures.  Sneezing and snotting, coughing and spitting all over everything.  Hands in pants...hands to mouth.  Grabbing everything in sight, spreading their little viruses and bacteria everywhere.  Obviously, I know that they aren't born with proper hygiene and a knack for cleanliness, but jesus, no wonder they are the perfect breading ground for illnesses and infections.  It's common to see one of them sneeze completely into their food, wipe their mouth/nose with their hand and continue eating.  A day doesn't go by that i'm not completely and utterly grossed out and disgusted by one of my students.  I understand that they're pretty new to this planet and they don't know any better, so I give them a pass when I see them doing something down right vile.  Even today, Ryan, little buddy, you get a pass.  Partially because I blame myself.

It all started during snack time, when I forgot that we had apple juice to go along with their sticky rice.  I'd already poured a cupful of water for each of them, so I made a deal, saying if they drink all their water, then they could each have a glass of apple juice.  Like college students playing flip cup, they downed their water in no time and quickly held their cups out for juice.  Ryan was such a champion, he even finished his snack first so I gave him a second glass of apple juice (strike 2 lydia).  Throughout the morning we worked on our sea animals, painting, coloring and gluing up a storm.  I was so excited that everything was going smoothly, that I completely forgot to ask if anyone needed to use the bathroom.  Most the kids will just stand up, grab their privates and say something frantically in Korean and that's how I know I need to go do my duty as whiper.  As I learned today, not all of them are so vocal about their needs for the bathroom.

When we sat down for lunch I noticed he was being a bit quiet, but I took this as a blessing, being that he usually can't sit still or shut up.  Just as I started into my curry and spring rolls (great lunch today) I saw something trickling onto the floor and without missing a beat, Heather points and starts yelling something in Korean.  At first I thought it was water, or hoped it was water rather, then I saw his little cup, sitting untouched on the table.  I washed down the bite of food I had in my mouth, realizing that it may be the last one I had for a while, walked over and ushered him to the bathroom.  All the while yelling at Heather to stop laughing and to eat her food.

Dealing with the emotional damage was relatively easy, I was expecting to have to really make a fool of myself to get this kid laughing again, but it only took a clean pair of pants, a couple goofy faces and some encouragement and he was fine.  Cleaning the actual mess was far more involved.  Finding anti-bacterial spray was a task in itself (that's a whole other post), but the amount of liquid was seriously shocking for how little this guy is.  I'm still trying to figure out where it all came from.  As I did my best to stop the spread of bacteria, they sat and ate, completely unfazed by the events.  In true Cat Class style, they forgot it ever happened and for once I can say i'm truly glad they have this tendency.

Got milk?

I never imagined what my first time being asked if I was a prostitute would be like, but I know I wouldn't have imagined this.

Today, like all days, I was pretty tired when I got home from work.  I know my slippers don't have any arch support and by the end of the day my feet hurt like hell.  Today was exceptionally bad for some reason, so when I finally did get home, I had no intention of leaving my bed until it was time for school in the morning.  At my apartment I quickly threw on sweats and began looking for pirated videos to watch online. After an episode of Top Chief I had grown hungry, so I got up to make myself a bowl of cereal.  When I opened the fridge I realized that I had finished all my milk during my morning meal.  Laziness still overcoming hunger, I tried to curb my appetite with an unhealthy amount of cheese and some crackers....30 minutes later...still hungry and the idea of waking up early to get milk seemed even more unappealing than getting up and getting it now.  Angrily, I threw on a hoodie over my T-shirt and headed to the corner store at the end of my street.  As luck would have it, the rain started when I got outside (obviously i'd left my umbrella upstairs) and the 7/11 corner store was out of milk.  This meant that I had to walk to the Family Mart down the street past the gaggles of hammered, shiny suited business men that come to my neighborhood every night for a hearty animal organ dinner.

If it wasn't clear from my previous post about the bottle head girl, this area of Seoul is a far cry from some tame residential neighborhood.  It's commonplace to see groups of belligerent men, arm in arm, stumbling down the street at 8pm on a Tuesday.  Knowing this, I don't particularly enjoy walking down the gauntlet alone after a certain point in the night.  At least in America you can understand the things that are being said to you, it's a whole new experience to have a group of drunks yelling things in a foreign language and laughing.

With my head down, I quickly walked through the groups of people, avoiding speeding scooters and honking cars.  Right outside the Family Mart was a group of younger Korean men standing enjoying some cigarettes.  As I walked by I heard one of them say in broken English "you Russian?" which is code for, "are you a prostitute?"  Apparently, there are a lot of Russian hookers here and apparently, they use this line a lot on foreigners.  I tried to pretend like I didn't hear anything and continued toward the store.  Right before I entered I heard "2000!!!" and some other comment about Russians.  Now if I'm trying to find something positive in this whole situation, i would try and convince myself that he was talking about 2000 American dollars, but if i'm being realistic, and taking into account my dress and appearance, he was talking Korean money.  2000 won. Which equates to about 2 dollars US.  So along with being asked if I was a hooker, he offered me 2 bucks.  Ego check. 

After buying my milk (which was 2 dollars and 50 cents) I composed myself and walked out of the Family Mart.  That's when I realized that during my time in the store, he had actually collected money from his group of friends and as I walked by he held out a wad of crumpled bills and tried his best to say something in English.  This is where I lost it a bit, to yell things at a girl walking alone on the street is bad enough, to calculate and actively continue with the rudeness is pathetic.  Knowing that he wouldn't understand any profanities or slurs, I decided to do the more universally recognized insult of spitting at his feet and flipping him off about 3 inches from his face.  I think seeing the bottle head girl may have given me that extra push of crazy to stand up to a group guys in a foreign country.  It wasn't your standard milk run, but my cereal dinner did taste delicious.