I’ve only seen 2 fights in Korea. The first involved an intoxicated young female breaking a beer bottle over her own head in a fit of rage, then attempt to cut the man sitting across the table from her, with said bottle. That incident occurred during my first month here in the ROK and, as far as fights go, it made sense - I understood that fight. Inebriated and sleep deprived male and female pairings, fighting at 6am isn’t something you only see once in your lifetime. Sober, female, i’m assuming fully rested, kindergarten cooks at 12:30 in the afternoon, however, is something I doubt i’ll ever see again.
It was my first week at PSA. I was still in the throws of my depression, so socializing during lunch was somewhat along the lines of torture. I preferred to sit and gaze at inanimate objects and feel sorry for myself and luckily on this day, my anti-social behavior allowed me to be privy to the entire spectacle that was “Cafeteria Beat Down 2012”.
As I was pushing some sort of meat and vegetable dish around my trey, I heard a noise that sounded like yelling. Lethargically I looked up to see one of the younger lady cooks in a pink hairnet angrily grabbing a vat of food and walking out of the kitchen. At this point I didn’t think much of it, because when Koreans talk, I often think they are angry, but what i’ve come to learn is that the tone I mistake for anger, is generally just the way in which they communicate. I had just gone back to moving things around my plate when I heard a screech that was most definitely not just excited banter about kimchi. The yelling was coming from an older cook wearing a standard black hairnet. I glanced around the cafeteria to see if anyone else was scouting what was happening in the kitchen. Unsurprisingly, all the other teachers were tending to their students and not paying attention to the escalating situation happening behind the food. I, however, was now enthralled.
Within seconds of reentering the kitchen, pink hairnet and black hairnet were nose to nose, yelling what I can only assume are some pretty harsh Korean insults. Black hairnet must have gone for the verbal jugular because pink hairnet snapped. Before black hairnet could react, pink hairnet slammed down a spatula and thew a right haymaker directly at her face--connecting solidly against her jaw. Black hairnet, clearly dazed, stumbled, recovered and charged pink hairnet, slamming her into the commercial size refrigerator. There were a few body shots thrown from either side before the hairnets came off altogether as the hair-pulling began. One of the other cooks made a feeble attempt to break up the brawl, but she was thrown aside like a child.
By this point the rest of the cafeteria had become aware of the melee and the responsible adults in the room started scurrying to get the kids up and out of the room. I, however, being in a state of emotional apathy, just sat and watched as the two cooks pulled hair, kicked, yelled, and slapped. During this period I, half ass, gave a couple no eye contact commands to the kids to go to the hall. Looking back, I now realize what middle age men go through when trying to watch sporting events with young children around. After a short time, I slowly got up and walked out to meet my class in the hallway, eyes still fully focused on the kitchen. Three men from the managerial staff and another female co-worker finally managed to pry the two gladiators off of one another. Thus, feeling like i’d just watched the NBA Championship, I half floated back to my classroom.
The next day I was like a child on Christmas, waiting to go back to the cafeteria and see which of the ultimate fighter cooks was still employed, if either. As it turned out, the younger cook took her victory and quit PSA, never to be seen again. Black hairnet, however is still serving up food and i’m sure to give her a “thanks" and a smile whenever possible --mostly because she terrifies me and because anyone who can body slam another individual into an industrial size kitchen appliance and still manage to keep her job, must be doing something right.
