Can every day be like this?

I don't know if it's because I'm getting the hang of this teaching thing, or if the kids are getting used to the routine, or if it's a fluke of fate, or if these little monsters are trying to soften me up before they unleash hell, but teaching this week has been easy...like really easy...too easy.  I'm scared to say this, but I've actually been enjoying it. There is a huge part of me that's apprehensive to even write about this good fortune.  On the one hand I'm probably jinxing myself right now by even recognizing that it's been easy/fun.  On the other hand, I don't think this run is going to last much longer so I might as well write about it, at least that way I can look back on this time and have something besides frustration and a growing addiction to soju.  

It seemed that every Monday prior to yesterday the kids would come back not only having forgot all the information we so diligently worked on teaching them the week before, but it was like in the space that knowledge used to call home, there was now some sort of brick or cinder block that was preventing anything from going back in.  For god sakes, we talked about colors for 3 WEEKS! Monday rolls around and these little people look at me like they've never even seen colors before, like they just developed the sense of sight on their way to school.  This was obviously pretty crushing.  Along with not remembering anything, it seemed like every Monday their parents would serve them a venti quad shot cappuccino poured over granulated sugar and gushers for breakfast.  I heard somewhere that you can find a child's average attention span in minutes by dividing their age in half ...this means that my kids have a minute and a half on a good day.  On Mondays they might as well be embryos. 

Knowing this was the pattern that had developed, I came into school yesterday mentally prepared-- expectations lowered, patience tank reloaded.  9:30 the kids started to arrive and it was my day to greet them at the door.  As I sat there, I felt like I often do, excited to see them, awed by their cuteness, yet cautious because I know that behind those smirks lie little terrorists waiting for my moment of weakness, but not on this day.  By 10:30 I noticed that something was different, not only did they remember information from the week before, but they listened, they participated, no one faked an illness.  Not having to say, "listen to teacher" or "focus" or "Heather, you're not sick. Stop lying." made it possible for me to enjoy them.  I'm wondering if they unknowingly realize that being good benefits them as well.  When I don't have to put all my energy into getting them to comply, more energy can go into making the lessons fun and entertaining.  The lunch was even delicious on Monday.  No sneaky baby octopus.

To top off Monday's greatness-a student's mom brought a box of cheese for me as a gift.  A week earlier she had asked me in passing conversation, "what do you miss from home?" and I blurted out,  "cheeeeessseee" like an addict needing a fix.  I think she sensed the desperation.  When she handed me the box I was literally shaking with excitement.  I actually took a little Korean woman in my arms and hugged her like a kidney transplant patient would hug their donor.  I may have crossed some cultural and/or personal space boundary, but I don't really care.  That woman brought me joy that carried over to today, and hopefully will continue to through the rest of this week.  If not at least I've got a fridge full of cheese and fond memories of 2 days of teaching gone right.

still hungry

I'm just speaking for myself here, but I do not like to be surprised by baby octopus in my food.  There is a certain level of mental preparation that needs to go into eating something with tentacles.  This has become pretty difficult being that octopus seems to be the ground beef of Korea.  Octopus Helper anyone? My anxiety toward food surprises such as this have become more than unnerving, they are now downright upsetting.  So much so that my baby octopus surprise this week nearly sent me into a rage and it's really put a strain on my relationship with Korean food.  Me and Korean food...we might break up.  

Monday through Friday at noon, a handful of westerners will go upstairs and eyeball the vats of food placed out by the ajumas (old women in Korean).  After careful inspection I dish up food that I feel i'm prepared to eat...some days i'm brave and eat the sea creature dishes...other days i'm feeling less adventurous and avoid proteins all together.  On this particular day I wasn't feeling up for anything.  It was Tuesday, my most exhausting day of teaching, the kids were in a mood and I was already running on fumes.  This also happened to be a day where I had to eat with the class.  So after dishing up what I thought were fried vegetable patties and rice I headed down to eat with the 3 year olds...which also means sitting at a desk made for 3 year olds...all the while listening to 3 year olds make up excuses why they can't eat their kimchi--I know i don't speak the language, but i'm pretty sure you don't develop a headache at 12:20 everyday, Heather.  All I wanted was to down my meal and get through the day...but no...the vegetable patties that I was very much looking forward to turned out to be vegetable and baby octopus patties.  I realized this about a bit and a half into a very not vegetable type texture.  After throwing a fit worthy of a 3 year old...i dumped my food in the trash and ate my weight in cookies and whatever other unhealthy treats were in the staff lounge that day.  My 2pm crash was pretty epic. 

Since that day i've been jaded and angry at Korean food, angry because of the deceit.  Jaded because I can't eat anything without wondering what part of the animal i'm eating...or if it's something that i'm just not ready to stomach.  These food woes and anger keep me on a steady diet of Post cereal and bananas....and i've been watching reruns of Top Chief all day. Am I a masochist? Possibly. Does something need to change in either my mentality or in Korean cuisine and cooking practices? Absolutely. I'm gonna put my money on Korea...they've gotta be getting sick of octopus sometime soon...

Are you sure that's what you want to say?

It's no secret that grammatical errors and misused words are entertainment in its most pure and innocent form.  It's also especially hilarious when these errors are displayed on clothing and worn by people who have no idea how incorrect, inappropriate, or utterly random these phrases or groups of words are.  Here are a few of the sayings i've seen thus far.  I know simply seeing them written on a blog won't do them justice, but here goes anyway.

"The For Free" - This was on the back of one of my students shirts.  Is the kid for free?

"Content." - Written in big block letters on the front of a scowling, chain smoking, 17 year old's T shirt.  She didn't look super content to me.  

"English" - Sorry boo, but i'm gonna go ahead and call bullshit. 

"Rough, Laugh, Love" - I....yeah...I don't even know...

"I'm a planet cowboys fun" - Once again written on the back of a Reggio student's shirt.  I don't think his mother realized that this phrase is one apostrophe away from being all sorts of disturbing. 

and my personal favorite...

"Party like it's 1491" - I found this shirt so hilarious and random that I actually tried purchasing it from a store in the subway...unfortunately they wanted something like 20,000 won for it and I decided against it.  When I got home I immediately googled the year 1491 to see what sort of significance it held and here were the highlights: 

-A major fire broke out in Dresden

AND

-The outbreak of bread and cheese revolt in North Holland

These hardly seem like reasons to party, but i'll take it.  

Everyone back home, you will be receiving T shirts such as these for Christmas, Birthdays, Hanukkah, souvenirs etc...and you're welcome : )

I can't decide if I should call the police or give her a round of applause

Saturday morning at about 6:30 am Leah and I were headed to the subway to catch a train, which would take us to a bus, which would take us to a raft, in which we would float down a lazy river.  On our way we needed to stop by the Family Mart in our neighborhood to get some cash.  The night before we had been sitting at that very Family Mart enjoying some Friday beers with the rest of the Reggio teachers.  That night, we had talked to Chungzu (sp?) the owner of the sashimi restaurant next door to the Family Mart.  As we walked that morning to get cash I was shocked to see Chungzu, another man and 2 women sitting outside his restaurant...clearly still making it happen from the night before.  As we approached a fight broke out between one of the women and the unidentified man.  It began with some pretty standard drunk tears and yelling, but quickly escalated and before you know it, the woman picked up a soju bottle from the table and broke it on her own head.  That's when things got real.  In what must have seemed like double time to them, but in actuality it looked like wobbly sloths, everyone at the table came to their feet.  The woman then proceeded to cut Chungzu with the broken bottle, then run towards the other man...swinging wildly.  At this point Leah and I had stopped dead in our tracks...obviously dumbfounded by the scene in front of us.  For the next 30 seconds or so Chungzu restrained the woman.  All the while the second women is crying hysterically...doing her best to mediate the situation....by staggering between the separated individuals...pleading with them in Korean.  Somehow Chungzu got both women seated again...then after a few seconds of relative calm...the woman picked up another bottle and hit herself on the head repeatedly, but the bottle stayed intact this time, causing what i'm sure was a bitch of a headache.  This scene was like Jerry Springer meets Most Extreme Challenge meets a Mexican soap opera.  To say it was shocking is a complete understatement, but the more I think about it, and the more it has settled into reality, i can't help but think about how crazy badass it was.  How psycho angry do you have to be to break a bottle over your OWN head? This broad made guys who crush beer cans on their foreheads look like 6 year olds in a ballet recital.  I don't know what this dude did, but christ...watch yourself, buddy.  

Adventure Korea-ing

Yesterday a group of us took a bus out to the North East province of Korea to go 'white water rafting'...or as I like to call it 'floating down the lazy river at the MGM Grand Hotel with a helmet and life jacket'.  We all knew that 'white water rafting' would mean something very different here in Korea.  My observations during rafting more or less confirmed that Korean's aren't the most comfortable around water.  Our guides were irrationally fearful of the current and wouldn't let us swim more than 5 feet off shore.  We also saw a numerous Korean rafters wearing long sleeve chiffon shirts and white pants or button downs and khakis, which just gave me more reason to wonder what these people are thinking when they get dressed in the morning.  Even though the rafting wasn't the exciting experience we were hoping for, it was still a blast and the scenery was absolutely beautiful. 

After our relaxing white water rafting situation...Leah and I decided to go bungee jumping.  You can hear the fear in our voices when you listen to the videos.  I think bungee jumping anywhere would be pretty nerve racking.  Knowing that it's a couple strips of velcro that stand between you and certain death is a rush to say the least, but the kicker for me was not being able to communicate with the person strapping me in...i don't know why a language barrier came to mind as being an issue at this point, but hey.

Some of our pre-jump commentary.  It's not in the video, but a chick going before us jumped straight up into the air...not out like you're supposed to...then decided she didn't want to do it on her way down.  So she arches back trying to grab the ledge...scratches her entire back on the platform...then flopped off. Seriously disturbing bungee jump and it happened right before we went.

Leah's jump!

And then it was my turn!

Teaching about modes of transportation...AKA craft time for Lydia teacher.

I think they would do this all day if it was allowed.

The face of honesty...?

Women of Korea: do your feet hurt?

Have you ever wondered where the combination of denim shorts and high heels went to die? Or what happened to the, I bring a whole new meaning to the term "slick", men's shiny suit? They came to Korea.  And they took over.  Below is a picture of one of these suave suits...i'm sure you can imagine the shorts and heels combination.  





I do not understand the way people dress here. Is there a party that all of Seoul is going to except for me? Is there a rule that you must wear your Sunday best every day of the week? Korean women: do you own full length jeans? Korean men: do stores not sell long sleeve button down shirts? Or do you just choose to ignore them and head straight for the short sleeve ones? Was there some sort of study saying that wearing high heels, while walking miles a day, is good for your feet?  Overall, what the hell are you wearing?! It's 90 degrees with 80% humidity one minute and it's pouring rain, creating rivers in the street the next.  One would think being functional would trump being fashionable (very loose use of the word fashionable here) but i guess not.  I'd really love for someone to enlighten me as to why it's necessary to wear 4 inch stilettos to the grocery store...or why men favor these oh so shiny suits.  I fully intend on finding this out. To be continued...