Oz

I used to look forward to field trips.  I looked forward to them because I had this idea in my head that they were a free day - a day where I didn’t have to lesson plan or do any actual teaching.  As i’ve come to learn these day ventures outside of Reggio are the most exhausting days, far worse then normal days.  Days in which I come home with out a nerve left, having nearly walked into traffic numerous times on the way to my apartment.  The night of this this last expedition, I came home and watched the greater part of a Steven Seagal movie because downloading something decent required too much effort - not kidding.

We were going to watch a production of The Wizard of Oz, the Korean rendition of the classic.  When I heard the plan for this field trip, I once again grew hopeful, letting my mind wonder to a calm couple hours where my kids would watch a lovely theatrical performance about Dorothy and Toto, skipping down yellow brick roads, with helium hopped up munchkins giving them some nice soprano music to keep them on pace.  Unfortunately, the Koreans favor a darker interpretation - that or my memory of the storyline is completely wrong.  The bottom line is that once again, my dream of a happy effortless couple  of hours was dashed before we even sat down.

The backdrop looked as if someone on an acid trip had gotten ahold of neon paint, and while in the heat of their hallucinations, there was a loud angry song playing about flowers.  It was intense.  It was erratic.     It reminded me somewhat of Alice in Wonderland.  I wouldn’t be surprised if some wires got crossed there. When the cast came out singing with whistles and drums, I realized that they must have purchased all the costumes at a halloween shop’s going out of business sale.  There was pieces from a snow white dress, some mini mouse ears, a mad hatter costume, and various other mish mashed disney outfits.  Dorothy herself didn’t channel the original in the slightest.

The whole thing was in Korean, which was ok with me because any sort of incessant background noise gives me the chance to space out.  We’d sat the kids according to behavior and I had Ryan and JiAhn on either side of me and Daniel just one seat away.  Maybe 10 minutes in my co-teacher decided to explore the venue, or take a trip down the Han River, or go do some Christmas shopping, or participate in a telethon for children with cancer, or maybe she went to go get corn rows and a weave, I really can’t be sure where in gods name she vanished to for the greater part of this field trip, but I do know that the amount of anger I had inside me when I did see her again, gave me thoughts of her getting a house dropped on her head.

This play was scary.  It creeped me out and i’m a 24 years old.  This was the stuff that creates lifetime phobias and fears for a 4 year old.  At one point during the play I had a crying child on my lap, 2 beside me in tears, 2 children begging to go to the bathroom, but I had no way of taking them without uprooting my whole class (which looking back wouldn’t have been such a bad idea) there were maybe 3 paying attention and i’d completely given up on controlling the children i’d strategically placed beside me, allowing them to more or less wrestle each other and make all the noise they wanted.  I was playing hot potato with kids, shuffling them depending on how hysterical they were.  Trying to calm them down saying, “No no it’s not scary! Look happy Dorothy!”  All the while thinking; This is one fucked up play. Christ this is a fucked up play to show kids.  Who penned this out and decided it’d be good to show children? Hmm?


They ended the performance with this really aggressive drum sequence that more or less put my kids over the top.  Poor little WoongJay couldn’t stop crying, he just kept saying “Scary Lydia teacher. Many scary.” I thought about writing a letter to his mom, apologizing for the nightmares he surely had for the next few nights.

This field trip was once again one for the books.  I’ve learned my lesson though, our next outing is a couple weeks after Christmas break, we’re going to an indoor sledding venue.  I don’t even have a fraction of a thought of that being an easy day.

The class. Even Lena. 

Sweet Melody

Some of the kiddies singing the classic “I Can Sing a Rainbow”.  They hit a beautiful harmony in the middle, but Heather falters a bit with the lyrics towards the end...i’ve got confidence in them though...if they can clean it up there at in the home stretch, I think we might have a hit on our hands.




Since they know limited English, and Korean is no longer allowed in the classroom, they sing.  All throughout playtime, like the 7 dwarfs, they sing.  They also don’t realize the concept of song endings, so they just continue with the beginning whenever a song ends, or they just keep singing the same verse and chores over and over and over again...as you can see in the video.   They sang the exact same thing for at least 5 minutes after the camera stopped rolling.  It’s like the song that never ends...christ, I just got nauseous at the thought of them learning that jingle....Well! At least it keeps them occupied and out of the timeout chair.  And no one can deny that Jessica (little one in the white) has got some pipes.

Oh THAT North Korea situation...

I guess it’s time to address the North Korean elephant in the room.  I’ve received a pretty substantial amount of communication from people back home, obviously worried about the situation they’ve been hearing so much about on the news.  I wouldn’t dare say that this is being blown out of proportion by the American media, no never, but i’m going to go ahead and say that there is not a “state of crisis” and no one feels like they’re “under attack”.  Without outright saying that a lot of this is overreaction, because it is something that should be taken seriously, i’m gonna go head and say that things are going alright over here, and hopefully it stays that way.

My co-teacher, Lena, and I were in a GS 25.  I was perusing the cookies and crackers when I heard gasps coming from the counter.  I didn’t break stride because sounds of shock and disbelief coming from Koreans don’t phase me anymore, but as I walked up I saw stress and concern on Lena’s face - wide eyed, hands over her mouth, listening to the cashier.  I put my crackers on the counter and asked what was wrong.  It took her a few moments to answer, but she simply said “North Korea attacked.”  My stomach dropped, thought about it for a moment, grew skeptical, paid for my snack and headed back up to Reggio.  As we walked, we discussed the probability of this being true, all the while assuring one another that it was most likely nothing.  It was then that we decided we’d get the real story before panicking.  With the Reggio gate maybe 4 yards away, we see an ajuma running down the street and yelling.  I asked Lena what she said and she replied, “she say we at war.”

I’m happy to report that this was the most dramatic this situation’s gotten so far - on my end at least.  Initially learning about the attack, and the walk up to Reggio, was the most public display of worry i’ve seen from any Korean in the past week. Clearly i’m only speaking for myself, but it’s as if nothing has changed here.  I walk to work and the biggest concern for a lot of the Koreans still seems to be finding a wind free zone so they can light their glamor cigarette.  I’m not the Korean news stations primary audience, thus my news comes second hand, but from what i’ve heard from the locals, they seem to feel relatively ok.  And by ‘ok’ I mean they’re not petrified with fear, ordering portable bomb shelters, stocking up on bottled water and snack packs.  Maybe it’s because they’ve lived their entire lives with the threat of North Korea.  Maybe it’s because they’ve got complete confidence in the Korean military.  Maybe they’re delusional.  Honestly, I don’t know.  All I can say is i’m happy that things have maintained a sense of normalcy amongst “brink of war” comments and the amount of media attention being hurled at this thing.

This is not to say that there haven’t been a couple moments, since the incident on Yeonpyeong Island, where my mind hasn’t wondered to mushroom clouds, shrapnel, and wide spread meyham - because there surely have been.  For the past week Seoul’s been getting some very strange weather.  Weather that’s caused some late night thunder and lightening storms.  Nothing jolts you out of bed at night quite like a bright flash, followed by a loud thunderous sound, when there’s a psychopath in control of nuclear and chemical weapons, less than 100 kilometers to the north.  That has most definitely messed with my sleep, but in no way are all the foreigners tracing out the best routes to the embassy, with regards to distance from the military bases.

Maybe i’m being ignorant to the severity of this.  I do not have any sort of stock pile if something were to go down.  My cupboard is filled with chocolates and my fridge has a block of cheese, that might last me 2 days.  I don’t have a bag packed, ready to go on a moments notice, but I like to think that we’ve seen the worst and until I see a herd of ajumas running down the street screaming, i’m going to continue to live the day to day, where my biggest concern is lesson planning and figuring out how to keep Cat Class from turning into a WWE tournament.

i’m the illest

“How bad is it?”
“Bad.”
“Well how bad?”
“It high.”
“Ok. How high?”
“Very high.”
“Can you give me a number?”
“39.5”
“Ahh. Do you know what that is in fahrenheit?”
“Uhhh...”
“Nevermind. Ok so what can we do? Can you give me something to bring it down?”
“I give shot.”
“Like in the arm...?”
“No...."
...This is not the conversation anyone hopes to have on a Friday afternoon.  Yet this is the exact exchange I had with Dr. Chung at 4pm a couple Fridays back.

For the past 2 months i’ve been battling a myriad of illnesses.  It all started with a slight cold and a cough, which morphed into bronchitis, which turned into fluid in the lungs, then reverted back to a pesky cough, then seemed to be on its way out, then turned into a fever of 103 (39.5) on a Friday afternoon, and for the past 2 weeks it’s been holding steady at a severe head cold - and cough.  I’ve been more sick in these past 4 months in Korea then I have been in the past 5 years.  It’s ruining me slowly, and honestly, I feel like it’s karma punching me in the face for making fun of all the surgical mask wearing germaphobes that scurry around Seoul on a daily basis.  I’ve learned my lesson, and I should have taken a queue from the cautious folk when I had the chance.  Clearly, they are all aware of the super germs that populate this more or less island nation.

The capability to steer clear of airborne viruses is greatly reduced by the 100 child size petri dishes that walk around Reggio everyday, collecting and spreading their diseases around like a hive of bees during honey season.  No matter how many times one washes their hands, or disinfects the classroom, you can’t kill everything and if you think you have, you’re sadly mistaken.  These germs are like sleeper cells, they wait.  Patiently lying dormant until you feel yourself coming out of the cough syrup and Nyquil filled haze.  Then, just as you begin to feel normal, they attack. And just like Nancy Kerrigan before the 94 Olympics, you’re taken out at the knees, you’re down and out, left crying “why? WHY me?”

My desperation to get healthy over these last few months has lead me to a couple places that I didn’t want to go.  The Friday bum shot for one and to a traditional eastern medicine doctor for another.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go to Dr. Sung, in fact I was very much looking forward to a more natural route of treatment - my last dose of antibiotics/steroids had made me more or less psychotic, with mood swings that rivaled a menopausal schizophrenic and sleep deprivation that was driving me to drink.  Also, considering that those 5 pills, 4 times a day for 2 weeks hadn’t cured my symptoms, I was pretty reluctant to go through the emotional side affects for a second time.  However, eastern medicine has some practices that are a bit out of the ordinary in relation to what i’m used to.  Acupuncture is pretty standard protocol, but placing two 6 inch wires up through my nose was not something I expected when I decided to do the optional acupuncture treatment.  My inability to relax clearly confounded Dr. Sung, but the language barrier made it difficult for any encouraging words, other than “no poke. be calm.”  I hope he understands why I had trouble complying with his commands.

Although the nose wires situation tops my list of strange things that have happened to me in Korea, it fixed something, because that along with the herbal concoction i’m taking 3 times a day has made me feel better than I have in months.  Fingers crossed that this holds out and there’s no Tonya Harding boyfriend germs waiting to take me out again.

This tiny human is most likely the reason I can’t get healthy.  He is a walking virus and his mom sends him to school whether he’s sick or not. Thanks Ryan’s mom. 

the makings of a breakdown

It all started with this.....

When you dress a kid in an outfit like this, you’re basically guaranteeing them an abnormal day.  And abnormal to kids typically equals bad.  They may be young, but these little people are acutely aware when they don’t mix in with the pack and in this get-up Daniel very much stood out.  This little man knew it and before he even walked into Reggio, he was trying to ditch the bow tie. With everyone fawning over him like he was a K Pop star, I understand why he was complaining about feeling “too hot” and grabbing his tie while repeating “no good. no good.”

When I was young I had this obsession with my socks being perfect inside my shoes.  I remember my mom helping me get my shoes on for elementary school and I was so unbelievably upset because my sock was creased inside my sneaker, driving me insane, like that kinked sock was the worst discomfort that a person could possibly endure, or could not endure for that matter, because to me it was unbearable.  That was more or less how Daniel was acting on the day his mother decided to dress him up like a preppy ken doll.  He just couldn’t take it.  Yet like a selfish adolescent with a new barbie, I made him keep it on, and whenever the chance came up to show him off to someone else in the school, I took it, blatantly ignoring his discomfort.  I’m a bad person.  And the video below strengthens that sentiment.

After a morning full of mini fits, Daniel reached his breaking point.  People had been ignoring his demands all day and when WoongJay and David wouldn’t give him the toy, he snapped.

In the video please note how they deliberately ignore my pleas for peace.  You can also hear me confirm aloud that I should be stopping the fight, but then I stand up to get a better angle.  And lastly, take note of Brian, who at first tries to stop the tussle, then halfway through appoints himself referee of the match.


After separating the fighters Daniel broke down in tears, all the days emotions flooding out.  I picked him up and tried to make amends with a can of mixed nuts and candy....



Poor guy just needed some almonds for those chipmunk cheeks.

Fancy

This past weekend I had the opportunity to go a performance at the Seoul Art Center and watch the Royal Concertgerbauw Orchestra of Amsterdam - say that 5 times fast.  I've been to more than a few concerts such as this, my father being a classical music enthusiast, I was taken along many a time to see concert pianists, violinists and orchestras.  I have a memory from when I was about 9 or 10 and I was so excited when the crowd started cheering when the music stopped.  I remember thinking, ahh finally, it's over - but no, it was only the end of the first piece.  To a child a 15 minute musical piece seems like a lifetime and unfortunately, nothing has really changed for me.

I've said it before and i'll say it again, I'm not a huge music person.  Not to say that I don't love listening to it, or to say I don’t have favorites, but i'm just not one of those people who seeks out new music or new artists --i’m just not savvy in that way.  And live singing makes me uncomfortable so that counts out the whole concert part of things.  Aside from the live singing though, I'll basically listen to whatever and be satisfied.  A solid chunk of music on my ipod is still there from high school, so that should show that it's not a huge concern in my life.  With that said, I was still looking forward to going to this concert.  I figured that at my older, more mature age i'd be capable of focusing and enjoying the music.  I seemed to have forgotten that though I am older, I still have the attention span of a goldfish, that's been a constant since elementary school.

Through the first piece I was relatively focused.  The orchestra played 'William Tell' Overture, which is about 12 minutes long. Very doable.  By the second piece i'd noticed myself fading a bit, but I was still able to bring myself back and maintain some sort of grasp on my purpose for being there, but by intermission I was losing it and had to give myself a pep talk.  Once outside I peeked at my program to see how long the last piece was.  Brahms Symphony No. 4 was up next and the approximate length: 42 minutes.  I quickly walked to the bar and got a glass of wine.

When I settled into my seat for the marathon ahead, I was thinking about how silly it was that I couldn't focus on this music -- it's beautiful, a person my age should be able to sustain some sort concentration.  I vowed that during these next 42 minutes I would listen and absorb everything, I was looking to have an emotional experience.  Thinking c’mon Brahms, make me feel something here, I really want to enjoy this.  Then the conductor, Mariss Jansons, took his place and then began the strings...

I doubt I even lasted a minute before my thoughts took off.  Ahh that’s really pretty.  Ok Lydia just stop thinking and listen.  Alright listening. I’m listening. I’m listeni...wow their hands move so fast.   Gosh I wonder how fast their hands are moving.  Really fast.  Like really really fast.  Race car fast.  Ohh yeah the Formula 1 racing was just here in Seoul! I really wish I’d gone to that.  Wait, I don’t even like racing.  Yeah, I’m glad I didn’t go to that.  Very glad. Very glad I didn’t go. Oh tickets were free though! Ahh maybe it’d would have been fun to go.  Yeah it would have been fun...just to go. People watching ohh!!! I wonder if people who watch Formula 1 are like people who watch Nascar.  Well mullets are kinda everywhere in Europe anyway so....Ah PAY ATTENTION! Yes yes. Listening to the music....totally absorbing this....I wonder if Seoul has performances like this a lot? I bet they do...I mean the G20 summit was just here...Ohhh the President was here! No wonder there were so many cops around this week.  I wonder if Obama drove by my apartment!!! I doubt it because I would have known.  They have high security for that kind of stuff...they don’t want another Kennedy situation.  I wonder who really killed Kennedy...I bet somebody knows....God that’d be cool if I knew who really killed Kennedy.  Actually I don’t want that kind of knowledge, cause then they’d probably kill me...yeah I don’t want to know who killed Kennedy. Christ!!! LYDIA! Pay fucking attention! Yes.  Ahhh i’m terrible....Ohh I’ll look at the instruments. Yep that’s what i’ll do. I’ll just look at each of the instruments....wait...where is the tuba?! I remember when I played the tuba!!! Well the sousaphone....it was the marching band version...but we never actually marched with it...HA! Almost got me there! Still focused on the music....or something music related.  Watching. Listening.  Listening. Watching.  Pay. Ing. Attention....Why does that trumpet player in the back look like he’d rather be at home playing World of Warcraft? Christ, how did he make the band?  I bet he’s related to the owner or something. Yep definitely nepotism.  Yeah he is for sure the child of somebody important.  He’s slouching...like a stoner in the back of the classroom.   Buck up, guy.  Dear God.  Stop it and listen!  Shoot. I did it again. Ok for real this time. Listen. Listening. Ohh that’s pretty.  I think I recognize this...ohh I dooo!!! It’s from a Disney movie! Which Disney movie? Ahhh....It’s not Cinderella....or Beauty and the Beast....noo...neither of those. Wait, doesn’t Disney make all their own music for their movies? Yeah I think they do. Wait did I just make that up? I totally just made that up.  Umm...Maybe I didn’t?....I don’t know. I’m def gonna Google that when I get home.  UNBELIEVABLE!  Is it really that difficult to shut your head up for more than 15 seconds?!  Hey! I can pay attention to a lot of things for more than 15 seconds!!!! I do sodoku all the time...well I did that in class so I wouldn’t space out...but seriously I focus on a ton of things...like when i’m cooking I focus on cooking...or when i’m reading I focus on re......Christ. I give up.  


In that 42 minutes I made roughly 4 life decisions, set a dozen or so goals, settled on 6-7 other countries  that I’d like to visit and figured out how I’d solve a couple of the world problems.  It was incredibly productive, but did not change me musically.  This is not to say that I didn’t enjoy myself.  I did. Very much so.  But when it ended, after 2 encores, my palms were tired and so was my head.  The back and forth i’d been having with myself was pretty exhausting.

Aside from the performance there is one thing I do have to ask....Is a partial standing ovation worse than no standing ovation at all? Because there was a partial standing ovation at the end and I have to say that it was awkward. I mean really awkward.  There we were...on our 5th concecutive minute of clapping. Loudly.  Then a couple people decide to go for it and start the Standing O...but only a couple.  You could see everyone kinda looking around...assessing the situation.  Seeing that the Standing O had been initiated, like an open invitation to follow and raise up, but no...the majority of people stayed seated.  It was kinda like...yeahhh I see your Standing O...but I do not agree with your Standing O...so I will stay seated...but I WILL clap more enthusiastically.  Just some food for thought.  I definitely think no Standing O is better then a partial Standing O.  Yeah, no, I would not want a partial Standing O.

Halloween - Reggio Style

The Halloween celebrations at Reggio were....well....they're done.  The pictures are cute, but overall the day was torture.  Each western teacher was in charge of coming up with a game and throughout the day the Korean teachers would bring each class by to play the game in the classroom.  As often happens, way too many activities were scheduled and they completely overlooking the fact that the foreign teachers might need a break...or might need food.  Also contributing to the stress and headache of the day, i'd chosen Pass the Witches Broom Stick as my game, which was one of my childhood favorites, but I don't remember it being so dangerous in my elementary school years-maybe I was just oblivious to the obvious visual damage possibilities back then.  At any rate, after 2 classes my game had gone from Pass the Witches Broom Stick to hot potato with a wireless witch hat.

In addition to the pain of the actual Halloween Party, the preparation for the day's festivities must have killed 1/3 of the remaining rain forests and caused roughly 3 dozen species to go extinct.  To say the place looked festive would be comparable to calling the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade a Homecoming pep rally.  And to top it off the Reggio administration got lost in translation somewhere and ordered a pinata.  Happy Halloween, everybody.

My boys have a slight obsession with "Powaaahh Wangaahs" Can you tell? 

There were specific no gun rules put in place because of this child.   It's lovely how he follows instruction. 

WoongJay putting out a serious vibe.  Must be the muscles. 

Told Brian to do a "superhero" pose and he broke out in this.  

The masks didn't last long. 

Shota from Koala Class.  Quite possibly the most adorable frog i've ever seen. 

Real original Cat Class teachers, real original.  

Because obviously every kindergarten needs a red carpet for a Halloween party.

And Jessica was dressed as Madeline.  The day before she'd tried telling me what she was dressing up as and I couldn't understand what she was saying, after about 10 tries I finally just said "ohhhh MOMMA cat!!! Wonderful!!!!" -in the excessively enthusiastic falsetto voice that I use whenever i'm talking to the kids.

 Later in the day I made the executive decision that carving a real pumpkin was an absolutely horrible idea, so instead I gave the kids paper and had them draw their costumes.  

Daniel was pretty spot on with the skeleton.  

Ohhh JiAhn... ohh sweet sweet clueless precious little JiAhn.  

Loving Jessica's interpretation of Madeline here.  She's a real visionary, this one.  

Sad Giraffe

First, I would like to thank the dozen or so senior citizens of Seoul who made it possible for me to be here in front of my computer right now, writing this blog.  If it weren't for you I would most likely still be up near the North Korean border, wandering around in a giraffe costume, helplessly saying "Seoul National University of Education Station? Please? Please?"  Thankfully I know how to say that in Korean, but more so than that, thankfully 'pathetic' is something that transcends the language barrier.

It all started with the 10k Halloween Run, which after a night of too much wine, turned into a 5k Halloween Walk.  No excuses, but I did forget my ipod, the creature in my chest was still having a party, and I had decided that dressing as a gypsy, in a floor length gown, was a good choice for a run - Cat Class decision making skills are rubbing off.  After watching a few people who ran the 10k pass me on the way to the finish line, I decided that maybe it best to turn my attention away from the run and onto the post run activities.  As luck would have it everyone was in the same mindset and drinking commenced right around 10am.

After some flip cup, soju shots, and some other drinking games, I had somehow gone from being a gypsy to a giraffe.  The details are hazy, but a friend of a friend had brought a 2nd costume and I somehow ended up in a giraffe suit.  8 hours after the end of the run, the drinking/not eating had become too much and I decided to pack up and leave without telling anyone.  Backpack on, inside a giant giraffe costume, I made my way to the subway station.

At this point I can't be sure what my first mistake was, but if I remember correctly (highly unlikely) I think I just decided that it didn't matter which line I got on, they would all lead to my front door. It was like I thought that every train in Seoul would know where I needed to go, and it would take me there.  So once in the station I entered the first place I could and hopped on the first train I saw, completely oblivious which direction I was headed or what stops might be on the way.  What I can only assume was about 45 minutes later, I snapped out of my haze and realized that I didn't recognize any of the stations they were saying over the speaker.  Awkwardly, I stumbled to the subway map on the train and tried to figure out where I was.  After blankly staring at letters and colors for 15 seconds I decided that loudly saying "Seoul National University of Education Station (in Korean)" was a better idea.  5-10 pleadings later an ajuma came up to me, grabbed my hand and motioned for me to calm down.  At this point she was all I had, so I quickly complied.

Randi "The Fox" 

Once the train came to the next stop the ajuma, still holding my hand, led me off the train.  We walked for a bit then she began talking to other random ajumas in the subway, the only thing I could make out of these conversations was the repeating of my station name. As they talked, they would look at me and laugh, obviously they found the attire entertaining. A few minutes later my fairy ajuma handed me off to another ajuma, who kindly led me onto another train.

On every train in the Seoul Metro there is an area reserved for elderly, pregnant or injured people.  Each car has roughly 10 seat for people who meet those requirements - I'm assuming everyone just classified me as injured that day because there I was, hand in hand with my second ajuma, seated in the special section.  She had already began discussing my next transfer with an ajushi sitting across from us and like a perfectly planned school carpool, he grabbed my hand at the next stop and guided me to my next train.

This went on 3 or so more times, once an ajuma or ajushi would reach their destination, they'd pass me off to the care of another responsible senior citizen.  Each time they exited they'd smile and kindly wave goodbye, i'd helplessly apologize and thank them repeatedly, attempting to bow with my giraffe hood always flopping over my face.

When I finally arrived at my station, I parted ways with the ajushi that guided me the last leg of the way, the anchor ajushi if you will.  As I exited the underworld I realized that it was completely pitch black outside, my friends who had left the party over an hour after me, had already finished dinner and were arriving at home and the realization of what had just happened began to set in. I fumbled into the door of my apartment, deciding that even though it was only 8:15 on Halloween Saturday, I should probably call it a night.  Then...just as I was settling in to watch an episode of Vampire Diaries (yes...Vampire Diaries) my friend Randi called...and she was ready to head back out.  So like any sad giraffe would, I hopped back in my suit and headed out for the 2nd time.  Thankfully by the time I decided to head home and call it a night for real a few hours later, the subway was closed and the cab driver had a navigation system.

Recap

One of the speakers on my computer blew out. It's beyond irritating because my computer is my main source for everything...i've been meaning to go get it fixed, but the idea of going to a Mac store and explaining what's going on is deterring me from making any moves.

I gave my Eat Pray Love book to a Korean man who's trying to learn English.  I'm interested to hear what he thinks.

Korea went from normal weather to Antarctica in 1 night.  You can feel cold bearing down on you, but apparently this is nothing compared to what's coming.  Winters here are brutal so i've heard....

....I can't figure out how to use my heater. Evidently all apartments have this incredible/fantastic/oh so magical radiant heat, but I can't figure out how to turn mine on. I fidget with the buttons, noises come from the walls - then nothing. I thought I had it figured out once, but in actuality i'd turned off my hot water. I'll continue to try. 

Finally went to the doctor on Tuesday after trying to tackle this cold with tenacity and water for the last 2 weeks. She listened to my chest, said something about "severe....blah blah blah....bronchitis.....blah blah...antibiotics....blah blah blah blah...no drinking...."

This weekend is Halloween.....

She prescribed 5 different pills that i'm to take 4 times a day...and cough medicine.  This pretty much epitomizes the excessive nature of Korea.  So far no change and the small creature taking up residence in my chest is still sitting comfortably. The pills do make my ears ring/make me nauseous/make me feel like i'm going to pass out...so they must be working? 

A person dressed in a oversized Garfield costume came into the elevator with me today.  It didn't come close to phasing me as much as it should have - i'm becoming desensitized.  

Is it normal to send your kid to school with a surgical mask on? Is it still a surgical mask if Hello Kitty is on the front of it? Would a doctor wear a Hello Kitty surgical mask? Does Hello Kitty wear a surgical mask? These are all questions I have after seeing half my class come to school wearing these each morning. 

Cat Class has started speaking English.  I don't have much to report on this other than they use "mommy and daddy" to describe just about everything - plants, animals, portions of food, amounts, sizes..etc.  They also mimic everything I say, so I can no longer get away with cursing under my breath or aloud.  Last week they broke out in a "jesus christ" mimic/chant...fortunately stars and stickers still hold a lot of value to them.  "Lydia teacher will give 3 stars and a STICKER to whoever can sit nicely and be quiet!"

Tomorrow is Reggio's Halloween party.  I'm dressing as a cat. 

Happy

Talent is talent. You can't put an age on brilliance and the members of Cat Class have shown a considerable amount of natural ability in the art department, specifically self portraits. Using crayons as a medium, on standard 8x11inch white paper, these miniature Michelangelos showed what true beauty and emotion looks like.

David's interpretation of  a happy face looks more confused than anything.  I do like the fact that he incorporated jewelry into his piece. The pink necklace really adds some pop. 

JiAhn has a very realistic self portrait here....realistic if she was a 50 year old man with no nose and male pattern baldness. 

I sent a copy of this to New Line Cinema and they're developing a horror movie based on this drawing.  They're thinking seriously about a multi-movie deal, something along the lines of Freddie Krueger or Candy Man.  Could potentially be called Zipper Mouth. 

Because who wouldn't be happy with 2 mouths and ears right beside their eyeballs?  Also note Ryan's name in the top right corner of the drawing.  The R and the Y in the middle are pretty solid, but the A at the beginning and the N at the end could use a little bit of work.  Practice practice, little buddy. 

WoongJay's picture is pretty solid.  The facial features are in the correct place, for the most part, and he's even jazzed up his guy with some facial hair.  What gets me about this picture are the drawn on tracheotomy scars on the front of the throat, which he circled and pointed out when he brought the drawing up to me. He pointed at the two black lines and the dot, beamed with pride, then walked away.  WoongJay is happy when he has a carton of Camels?  I'm still a bit confused how that equates to happiness, but he knows, so i'm diggin it. 

Brian is a perfectionist.  He gets super embarrassed whenever he thinks he's done something wrong or not well enough.  As I was walking around checking on the kids drawings,  Brian frantically covered his up and began crying. I felt bad that he was so upset, so I threw away his first draft without even looking at it and gave him a fresh piece of paper so he could start over.  When he finished, he happily walked up to me with this drawing, like "yeah thisss is what is was going for." I"m sure this is far superior to his first.  Orange cheeks and a mouth around the neck, true signs of happiness. 

I really don't know what to say about this picture because every time I look at it I start laughing.   Literally i'm sitting in my apartment right now...alone...and laughing.  Jessica really took the teeth thing to heart. God bless her.  The more I look at this, I feel that it could also be a contender for the main character in a horror movie.

Personal. Space.

Seoul is a crowded place. Most numbers say something around 12 million people in Seoul proper and nearly 25 million including the surrounding area.  With that amount of people living and working here it's no surprise that you sometimes feel like you're in a human sardine can.  Being that it's crazy crowded you'd think people would take steps to lesson the congestion, or make it a little more bearable, but unfortunately they don't, they often do things to make it worse.

The Fievel Goes West Incident
Anyone who's seen the childhood classic will most likely remember the scene in which Fievel and Tiger are walking towards each other in the middle of the desert, but they both assume what they see is a mirage, so they continue on in different directions.  The same thing happened to me, except that I was walking on a street, not the desert....and instead of just passing by, this 35 year old Korean dude plowed into me like a freight train...and instead of continuing in my own direction, I whipped around and screamed "are you serious?!?" I was basically hugging the edge of the sidewalk and this man's unnecessary contact had me tumbling into the street.  So the only real correlation this story has to the Fievel scene is the fact that I was walking in the opposite direction of another individual....

This happened on my way to school, and let me just say that those sort of things really put a damper on the morning.  Calmly walking, listening to my ipod and some d bag in a shiny suit sends me into a rage before I even step foot in Reggio.  Hope your computer got a virus and crashed, guy.

In Da Club
There is no such thing as maximum occupancy in Korea.  In night clubs/bars they pack in as many bodies as possible.  There have been a couple times where I felt myself beginning to panic because I literally could not move.  Situations like these aren't conducive with a fun night out. Wanna get a drink? Forget it. Wanna make your way to the other side of the club? Not gonna happen. Ohh you need to use the bathroom? Pull a cat class and pee your pants, cause there's a better chance you'll make it into Area 51.  The one thing you can do is dance--just be prepared to feel like you're freak dancing random Korean strangers on all sides of you.  Boys and girls.  Don't get me wrong, going out in Seoul is a blast.  I would know,  I behave like a 16 year old who has just discovered alcohol whenever i'm out in this fair city--but the ticket is to stay near exits and go to places where they don't pride themselves on making their night clubs into an oversized version of a clown car.

5-7pm Subway Rides
Millions and millions of people use these trains everyday and I happen to live right by the station where the 2 most heavily used subway lines intersect.  Unbelievably convenient 95% of the time, but unbelievably hectic/chaotic/nightmarish the other 5%.  Earlier this week I had to get to the other side of the city right after school, smack in the middle of rush hour.  At this point I still didn't comfortable shoving my way through groups of people to get to a good spot inside the car and I made the unfortunate mistake of standing right beside the sliding door.  When we made our first stop, I realized just how badly I had fucked up.  Not only was I being thrown around like a rag doll by people shuffling off and on the train, but an ajuma gave me a kidney check with her elbow, got around me, stepped on my toe and then looked at me like I was the one in the wrong.  No thoughts of elderly respect were going through my mind at that particular moment.  The whole time we were at this stop I was standing there with my hands in the air, like I was about to get arrested, saying "ok, ok, ok, alright, yeah, ohh k, ahh, ok."  Safe to say i've been a little more aggressive when jockeying for position since then.

Some of my friends have described it as "Korea Rage".  Others have dubbed it "I hate Korea days".  Whatever you call it, it all stems from the same place, the overwhelming need for some personal space and some common courtesy.  Most of the time it's not even a factor, but on the days where I just don't want to be touched, pulled, moved, shoved, bumped, honked at or nearly hit by a scooter, it's literally enough to drive me crazy.  Thank god I don't have those days often, because I highly doubt the Reggio administration would be stoked about having to find a substitute teacher for an employee spending some time in jail.

Are you sure that's what you want to say?

Got some more mistranslated gems and a couple conversation flub ups that had me laughing pretty hard.

"One Shot. One Kill. Genuine Rapid Complete Dominance." -  This was on a hat worn by an old man in the subway...the hat also had a skull and crossbones. I couldn't tell if it was a real military hat or one you buy in the subway...at any rate...i'm very impressed with all the adjectives they used to describe dominance. Authentic, fast, thorough dominance is always a must. 

"Always make leave with happy" - This was a little sign behind the register at a dumpling place by my apartment.  It seems like a reminder better suited for a massage parlor, but i'll take it.  

"If you're happy and you know it crap your hands" - Listening to Korean co-teachers butcher childhood songs was difficult at first, but now I just sit back and enjoy.  We're still working on correcting the "i'm a little teapot short and sprout" mistake...teaching adults is harder than teaching children. No joke.   

"Vintage Ank  12345678910" This is in big block letters on a shirt that I bought at a bus station.  More than anything it'll help with my lesson planning.  Grammar mistakes for the intensive kids and numbers for cat class. 

"Hey Lena where are we going for the field trip this month? All the itineraries are in Korean."

"Mmm we go to poultry factory."

"Come again?"

"Yeah we take kids to poultry factory." 

"I'm sorry. We are taking the kids where??? A poultry factory? You can't be serious."

"Yeah. Poultry factory...you know? Where you make cray?"

"Ahhhh. A pottery factory. Where you make things out of clay. Got it. Cool. Thanks Lena."

"Original Bigot" - Cause what is a bigot if not original? This was on a shirt of a college student in the subway.  I was curious if he spoke English, so I tried asking him a question and he ran away.  I'm gonna assume that he doesn't know what the shirt means

"No matter how smart you are. You spend most of your day being an idiot." - This little tid bit is on a notebook that I bought from a stationary store.  Nothing like a little insult to inspire the mind.  

"The today that you wasted is the tomorrow a dying person wished to live." This is also on a notebook that I bought.  I was laughing about it one day and my co-teacher looked and said "yeah very famous quote in Korea" So i'm assuming this is their version of "seize the day"...? 

My Big Fat Korean Wedding

Everyone who's been here for a significant period of time has said "you have to go to a Korean wedding" or "no seriously, you MUST go to a Korean wedding" or "if you're up for some entertainment, go to a Korean wedding".  What they should have said, "if you feel like going to a twilight zone of weird ceremonious nuptial reality, go to a Korean wedding".  This last Sunday...I went to a Korean wedding.

Saturday night there was a big DJ festival in Seoul called Global Gathering.  I'm not a huge music buff, but Justice, Armin Van Buren and Fat Boy Slim were there, and unless you're a 20 something year old who's been living under a rock for the past few years, you've heard of at least one of them.  The concert was a blast, but it basically ended with me trying to pull a UCSB freshman move and attempting to get a random Korean to bike me home double...this individual was not at the concert...he was simply passing by on an early morning bike ride...obviously with a helmet.  Thankfully he had the sense to call me a taxi.  So when 2pm on Sunday rolled around, it's safe to say that I wasn't in the best shape.  However, Grace is one of my favorite co-teachers and I really wanted to show support on her wedding day (and to see what all this Korean wedding buzz was about).

Saying hello to the beautiful bride before the wedding 

As we walked up to the wedding hall at Seoul National University, it was a very familiar scene, people gathered out front, flowers, photos of the happy couple, members of the wedding party greeting people as they arrived.  In the entrance we ran into a few of our other Korean co-teachers and they quickly asked if we wanted to go say hi to Grace.  I was excited, but also a little shocked, at American weddings you don't see the bride until they make their way down the aisle, the 'ohh and ahh' moment, but not here, it's kinda all out there from the get go and I didn't realize then that this would be the 'ohh and ahh' moment of the wedding.

After saying hello to Grace and gushing about how beautiful she looked, we made our way to our seats. The wedding hall itself is like a mix between a movie theater and a vegas chapel.  Steely blue chiffon draped over all the walls, tall vases with colorful flowers lining the aisle, and a baby grand piano beside the alter.  The ceremony began with the mothers, dressed in traditional hanboks, walking down towards tables set out on either side of the alter, the bride and grooms fathers already seated comfortably.  When the mothers were halfway down the to their seats, the crowd burst out into applause, I looked around to see what I was missing, then realized we were applauding the mothers and I followed suit.  Next came the groom and Grace, arm in arm.  Once again applause, but the thing that really set this entrance apart from American weddings was the lack of attention paid to the bride.  Everyone around us was casually chatting and carrying conversation, while clapping and occasionally glancing up at the couple making their way towards the front.  As I quickly learned, that chatter would be a constant fixture of this wedding ceremony.  Along with the talking, people were texting and you got the sense that no one really viewed this as a monumental event, or something that should have the undivided attention of everyone in the room.  I'd been warned about this behavior, but I didn't think that grown adults would have the attention span of Cat Class while these two people made vows to love and cherish each other for the rest of eternity.

The flight attendant directing the moms down the aisle 

All the guests treating these nuptials like a mandatory work meeting was one thing, but the bizarre airline flight attendant guides were another.  Since they fire off about 5 weddings a day in these halls, they don't do any sort of dress rehearsal, so there were 2 ladies dressed in beige, guiding the bride and grooms every move.  Seriously leading them every step of the way with hand gestures and comments, which i'm sure were something along the lines of "now, if you take a step to the left you'll find the alter...."  These ladies really did bring the impersonal vibe, and to think...they're going to be in every photo...hmmph.  Once the speaker was done, the flight  attendants escorted the bride and groom to the baby grand, where a man and a woman were waiting with microphones.  There, Grace and her new husband stood silently while the duet serenaded them with a heartfelt Korean love ballad.  All I could think during those minutes was "this is my nightmare...this is completely and utterly my nightmare."  It's not that it wasn't beautiful, it really was, but anyone who knows me is aware of my disdain for live singing of this sort.  It's just so uncomfortable and awkward....please no eye contact.

After the ceremony I was obviously very excited about the bouquet toss, we all were.  I was all but taking my heals off and stretching to get ready for this moment when one of the other Korean teachers told us that Grace had already selected who the bouquet was going to.  I thought momentarily that maybe they meant that we were all just going to pretend try for it, but let some other chick get it, but no, the tradition in Korean is to select one person to throw the bouquet to, just one.  As it goes, the person who catches the bouquet has to get married in 3 months or else they won't get married for 3 years or something like that.  I was still disappointed, but when I heard about the strings that were attached to that bouquet I got over it a little.

More than anything this wedding was an experience.  It was really interesting to see how different a Korean interpretation of a western wedding is from an actual western wedding.  There were certain things that I found very odd, but there are things that I find very odd with whatever I do here in Korea.  Overall it was entertaining and fun, but most importantly the bride and groom looked very happy together.  I guess it doesn't matter how ya do it, the end product is the same, so thank you and nothing but the best of luck to the happy couple.

Shota and Christina.  Two member of Grace's Koala Class.  For some reason Shota reminds me of Jack from Titanic in that outfit.  Look closely...you'll see it. 

Eat Pra...ok you're getting on my nerves

I tried. I really did.  A big part of me really wanted to enjoy Eat Pray Love, truly. The other part of me secretly hoped i'd hate it.  On one hand it seemed like a good book to read when going through a rough patch and facing a sizable transition.  On the other hand, I felt like this memoir is a really small step away from being a self help book, and if I did seriously enjoy it, would I immediately be put in the category of people who think that reading about a strangers trials of loss and love gives them some sort of real life wisdom.  Can one find inner happiness by reading about Elizabeth Gilbert's "search for everything across Italy, India and Indonesia"?  Maybe some people can, but all I found was a high level of annoyance mixed with a serious desire to tell this broad to stop her whining.

I get it. Divorce is tough.  But how many pages do you have to talk about crying on the floor, or drowning in your sea of depression and sorrow? Obviously this was the set up for the rest of the book, a way to show how down and out she was before she embarked on this courageous journey to find herself, and to show just amazing it was that the clouds parted and she was, shocker, able to find love again (I actually didn't make it that far in the book...i'm just assuming by the whole "love" part).  I understand that it needed to be said, but seriously? THAT much?  Within the first 30 pages I wanted to yell at her for being so stupidly selfish and tell her to go talk to some people with real problems, put things into perspective.  As it continued I just found myself getting more and more frustrated.  I couldn't stop thinking 'what is the god damn problem, Liz?' Her editor finances a one year...let me repeat ONE YEAR trip around the world and all she does is piss and moan. While in Rome, on her editors dime, eating whatever she wants, and doing whatever she want, which is exactly what she wanted in the first place, she paints a picture of this weird almost sorta victim -- like i'm going to feel sorry for this chick?

As much as she irked me in Rome, she really started to make me angry when she got to India.  All the details are fuzzy, being that i've been averaging maybe a half chapter a week since I got here (I could only deal with about 3 pages before I started thinking about writing her hate mail) but the whole part about her climbing some tower and having a fake conversation with her ex husband, who was still in  NY, sent me over the edge.  I'm really sure you did that Liz, i'm really really sure you climbed up some tower and had a conversation with your ex husband, and you found closure. And then you did a hand stand. No. I don't buy it.  This was one of those things that goes into a story when someone already knows they have a book deal.  I can see it now...Liz G...just sitting there trying to figure out how to make the book more appealing and whimsical for her audience..."oh i've got an idea...i'll say i climbed a tower and spoke to my ex through telepathy and then i'll say I did a handstand...that'd make me sound super enlightened."  That is when I'd had enough, right around the 60th 'bead'.  

The only redeeming quality of this book, for me, was Richard, the character from Texas, who may have been fake as well, but at least she did a good job concocting his quotes and intricacies.  Although I did not enjoy it, I do want to say thank you to my step dad for getting this book for me. I know I expressed interest in reading it, and it was very thoughtful of you to surprise me with it before I left, so thank you.  That aside, I would like to say to all the people who enjoyed this book and encouraged me to read it (Emily) I will most likely never take book suggestions from you again.  Finally, I will now find someone who is trying to learn English, and give this book to them as a gift, not only for their practice of the language, but maybe, just maybe it will be more to them then it was to me, after all, I obviously am in the minority for hating it.  

Surprise

When deciding to come to Korea I have to admit that I didn't think about this whole teaching thing as much as I should have.  Sure I got my certification and Googled little tid bits on teaching ESL, but I never really thought about the things that could/would happen when teaching kids this age.  The first couple weeks I was constantly surprised by how helpless they are. The vomiting and the peeing were shocking at first, but now I've come to understand that it comes with the territory.  I may have accepted those things as part of the job, but I can honestly say that cleaning up poopy pants was not something I signed up for and after this incident i'm thinking about renegotiating my contract to include some sort of hazard pay.  There has got to be some sort of bonus for dealing with the trifecta of disgusting bodily fluid messes before your 2 month mark.      

Silence is a frightening thing when teaching kindergartners.  There is comfort in the constant noise and movement of children.  When they sit completely still, without fidgeting, and become silent it tells me that they are A) doing something they shouldn't be doing B) choking C) peeing and/or vomiting on themselves or as I learned last week D) pooping their pants.

It all happened during outside play last Wednesday.  A couple of the boys were kicking a basketball around the grass and the girls were playing in the little house making pies out of dirt and mud.  I was "eating" a pretend mud cake when I looked over to see Brian standing in the corner of the playground, silent, focused and still.  I stood up and walked towards him, calmly saying his name.  After beckoning him 5 or so times with no response I began running across the grass, I'd seen this look before and it was the one kids have right before they pee their pants.  I was hopeful that if I hurried I could get him to the bathroom in time.  When I reached him I semi frantically said "Bathroom Brian?! Potty?! Pee Pee?!" he shock his head yes and I grabbed his hand and took off.  As we ran into the school and into the bathroom he said "teacher help", which gave me more hope that if we got him situated quickly everything would be fine...but no....no no....dear god no.

The details of the clean-up don't need to be told, but I will say that I thought seriously about turning a blind eye, telling him to get dressed and sending him back out to the playground, poop and all.  I thought that maybe my co-teacher would make the unfortunate mistake of taking him to the bathroom later in the day...at which point I would have played dumb and let her deal with the mess. I thought about this, I really did. You're welcome Lena. 

Since coming here I can say that the pee and the vomit I can understand and I completely excuse, but i'm having some trouble accepting this poopy pants business.  This kid can speak English.  He knows how to ask for the bathroom, he knows how these things work and judging by his face this took focus.  His speaking capability coupled with this focus factor leads me to believe that this may have been a choice.  As if he decided that pooping his pants was a better option then leaving the wonderland that is the Reggio playground. Hell with all the balls flying around, everyone screaming and running, I guess I understand why he had that determined look in his eye....this was no easy feat.  Whether this was an achievement to be congratulated or just shotty decision making, you just have to wonder what goes through a kids head when they choose to hold up in the corner of the playground and drop one. I guess I'll continue to wonder. One thing I know for sure is that if this ever happens again...nose goes Lena.

The Package

The few times i've received mail here in Korea it's been an absolutely joyful experience.  It's so exciting when a letter or package comes to Reggio.  Typically everyone knows when someone's expecting something because it's such a big event. When the boxes finally arrive, everyone gathers to see what goodies and treats are inside, and naturally everyone gets a little envious of the person receiving said packages.  A few weeks ago my mom asked me for a list of things I need/want because she was getting one of these boxes of treasures ready to ship off to Korea.  Little did I know that my mom had a few ideas of her own on how to make this package stand out. 

Lack of communication was the first problem in this incident.  I don't know if I hadn't been clear, or if what I was telling my mom just didn't register (most likely the latter. i love you mom) but somehow it was lost that I was going to be away from Reggio for 9 days.  I have no idea what my apartment address is, so all my mail is sent to the school.  On the Thursday before vacation I was skyping her, discussing my Chuseok plans and she balked, totally tensing up when she realized I was going to be away for over a week.  I quickly asked what the problem was and she reluctantly told me about the surprise fresh apples she had packed from the orchard by our house.  I tried not to laugh because she was obviously upset, but I did ask, as sensitively as possible, what she was thinking when she chose to do this.  The next day at school I hoped that maybe the package would arrive, thus preventing the rotten apple box that would be waiting for me after the Chuseok Holiday, but no luck.

Vacation came and went and Monday felt like Christmas morning.  I practically skipped up the hill on the way to school.  At this point it'd been well over 2 weeks since she sent everything, so it should surely be there waiting for me, fermented apples or not I was stoked.  I arrived at school and quickly asked reception if I had any mail, or maybe it was something more along the lines of "hi hi hi hi!!! where's my package?!?!"  Eugene, our receptionist looked at me and said, "mmm, no package."  Bummed, but still hopeful I went to class, assuring myself that it must be coming later in the day, things may have been backed up from the holiday.  Once in the classroom I heard someone yelling my name from reception area and I sprinted out the door.  As I was running I saw 2 USPS packages and I began screaming "YAY!" and jumping up and down.  Right before I reached the steps, one of the Korean teachers said, "Not for you. For Karin teacher."  All of the air taken out of my sails, I headed back and started class.

Midway through the morning my co-teacher excitedly came into the room, handed me a letter and asked "is this what you are wait for?!" I worked hard to keep all my thoughts inside, said ''thank you".  At this point i'd completely stopped teaching class and was ripping the letter open.  Once opened I saw 3 papers and a brochure.  The pages read "CONTAMINATION....blah blah blah blah blah (by blah i mean Korean writing) blah blah blah blah blah blah...QUARANTINE.....blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...2.3kg APPLES....blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...INCINERATION...." I gasped and frantically started waving the papers in front of my co-teachers face, shushing the kids to be quite so I could find out what was going on with my package.  After 30 seconds or so of agony she said, "i think they burn it." I started to panic...that's when i'm assuming my co-teacher realized that if they burned this whole package it would ruin the rest of my week, and in turn make hers more difficult as well, so she kindly offered to call the quarantine center and figure out what was going on.  After talking it over with a few different people she found out that they were only going to incinerate the apples and the rest of my package should arrive within the week.

Three long days later, the non perishable and parasite free items made it to Reggio.  By this point everyone had heard about the contamination letter and they'd seen me fretting around the school, my co-teacher was especially excited to see the arrival of the package.  My excitement definitely got the best of me and I finished a snickers, nearly a bag of dried apples, 10 truffles, and snack pack of Oreos before I even left school.  When I realized that it will most likely be a while before I get another one of these precious gifts, I decided to ration the goods and now i'm down to a couple chocolates a day.  Apples or not, it was the best part of my week! Thanks so much Maaam. You da best!!!!!

"Well that was horrible."

Just got back from a beautiful week in Seoraksan National Park.  We did some white water rafting (actually scary this time) some hiking, and lots of noribang-ing (karaoke bar).  Even though the week was amazing and I loved being outdoors and seeing other parts of Korea, I was really excited to get back to Seoul and to do some things I haven't had the chance to do yet.  One of the things on my list was to visit the wildly popular Dongdaemun Shopping Center...an area famous for its amazing selection of cheap and fashionable clothing, accessories and shoes.  What I learned this weekend is you get a lot more than you bargain for in Dongdaemun.

A couple girls I work with hadn't been there either, so we all hopped on the subway Friday afternoon, excited to go see the place everyone is always buzzing about.  As we walked up to one of the building's entrances, I decided I needed a snack to tie me over.  There are dozens of vendors lining the streets of Dongdaemun with sausages, corndogs, and chicken.  I opted for the chicken on a stick, which tasted good, but i'm pretty sure it was undercooked, despite that little fact I ate it all anyway--with my current diet i'm in no place to turn down meat.  Snack finished we walked into one of the buildings and immediately you're punched in the face--total sensory overload.  Each floor is a maze of clothing, each 15x15 foot square is a different vendor, but on any given floor you could have a bakers dozen vendors selling the same clothing, so the trick is to haggle.  Obviously negotiating prices means knowing how to understand/speak Korean.  Between the 3 of us we know how to say "hello", how to count to 10, and how to say "thank you". 

It took a while to get my eyes to stop darting, and to focus on clothing rather than the chaotic feel of the place.  Thumbing through the racks trying to find something potentially purchasable, and immediately one of the people working would be right on my tail, organizing the items i'd just moved, standing so close that you'd think we had some sort of long standing friendship, where personal space boundaries don't apply.  What i've heard is that it's considered polite to show attention to costumers, but this just felt super odd to me.  Not only do I find it uncomfortable when a complete strangers is breathing on my back, but I couldn't help but feel like they thought I was going to have a flash back moment to middle school and try out shoplifting again. Whenever people hoover like that in the states, it's because you look sketchy, wearing a trench coat with darting eyes.  I understand the darting eyes part, but there was no trench coat anywhere on my person.

If and when I did find something worth buying, asking to try things on creates a whole new level of anxiety.  I'd stand there and wait for the individual working to stop the pretend organization, and then i'd do some really obvious, and i'm sure obnoxious, motion of putting on a pretend sweater or jacket.  At that point they'd start mumbling things to one another in Korean, and I could sense that my business wasn't appreciated.  In total, I think I tried on 2 items of clothing. By then I could see the trend and I wasn't going to go through that for a third time. 

It didn't take long for me to grow discouraged at this outing.  Along with the uncomfortable aspect, there were no price tags on anything and when i'd get up the courage to ask "how much" in Korean, they'd size me up then throw out a price, i'm sure higher because i'm a foreigner.  After what seemed like ages, but was closer to an hour and a half, we'd all had enough and we left Dongdaemun empty handed, feeling slightly pathetic, yet more motivated than ever to get started with Korean language lessons.  October can't come soon enough.

In Your Face

Brian has an obsession with smelling things.   Literally everything he touches immediately goes to his nose so he can get a whiff; bracelets, pictures, food, paint, etc...  Earlier this week we were working on our ocean and Brian wanted to know what blue paint smells like.  When he brought his paintbrush to his nose, he got a little too close, then he tried wiping it off which created the hilarious little mishap in the above photo.  My co-teacher seemed a bit concerned because my initial reaction wasn't one of worry.  Instead I started laughing and yelled "grab the camera" and began holding Brian's hands to prevent him from wiping it off before we got a picture. 

Once a week the kids get these little 'yogurts'  as the dessert for their lunches...I tried one during my first week of school and after one sip I realized that consuming the entire thing would surely give me type 2 diabetes.  I would not be shocked if there were over 80 grams of sugar in the little 4 oz orange container.  Never the less, the school keeps putting them in the kids lunches.  Each time all of cat class goes ape shit for this fruit flavored simple syrup and understandably so, it's basically crack.  After consuming one of these containers of rocket fuel Jessica, who is normally relatively calm and reserved, turned psychotic, hair a mess, running around screaming and shouting.  It was like she was possessed.   She had kept one of the little bottles well after lunch had ended and was continually sucking all the air out so it would make a suction around her mouth.  Once I realized what she was doing I took it and threw it away, but it was too late, the damage was done.  She'd successfully given herself 2 hickeys that very closely resembled a hitler mustache.  I thought this was hilarious, but her mother did not.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bA4Ni0Mmwdo

Above is a video from class.  Everyone is showing their bowing techniques.  What the video doesn't show is me attempting to demonstrate proper bowing techniques...why the class plan has the western teachers demonstrating this is beyond me.

Odd

This week has been weird.  Everyone has been anxiously awaiting our 9 day vacation.  Chuseok is next week and I for one am really excited to get out and explore a little bit.  All of the Reggio staff is counting down the minutes till 5:30 on Friday, when everyone will be free to go off on their mini adventures.  It seems everyone is having some difficulty focusing, or caring rather, and the students are absolutely taking advantage.  My student, Ryan, aka the poster child for ADHD has been especially hyperactive and defiant these past few days - flailing all over the place.  Two students have peed their pants this week and the overall air of Cat Class is one of indifference...myself included.  This break will give everyone the time they need to recuperate a bit. I for one will get as far away from children as i can, therefore making it possible for me to deal with the new crop of issues my students will surely develop with in the next month or so. This week's situation has been surprising, to say the least.

Over the last 5 days my students decided that we've known each other long enough and it's alright for them to grab my boobs, grab my butt and to look up my skirt.  I was not expecting this from kindergarteners - middle schoolers definitely, elementary school kids maybe, but kindergarteners?! Really?! I keep hearing that this is pretty normal behavior, but it's so off putting when you're trying to read a story and a 3 year old walks over and manhandles your boobies.  Normal or not, the timeout chair has been a popular hang out for all members of Cat Class this week-boys and girls.  I nearly tripped over one the girls in my class when I went to take a step back and there she was, on hands and knees staring up my dress.  Safe to say i've decided to hang the skirts up for a while and keep to a pants only dress code until this phase passes.

Strangely, the start of the NFL season has given me my first real case of homesickness.  Which is weird for a lot of reasons, but mostly because i'm not a huge football fan.  I think it's the Sunday afternoon activities that I miss.  This Tuesday a group of us went to a Canadian bar called Rocky Mountain Tavern in the foreigner district to watch the Monday night football games.  One of my co-workers is a football enthusiast and an avid Bear's fan.  All day Tuesday she steered clear of sports websites and social media to avoid learning the outcomes of the games prematurely. This wasn't the first time i've felt severely removed from everything back home, but it's the first time that i've actually cared.  Maybe it's the fact that the only thing I have on my TV are Korean period pieces depicting bloody battles between Korean warriors and foreign invaders and CSI...Miami...not even normal CSI.   I highly doubt that hearing Mike Ditka's commentary about the Steeler's defense or the Cardinal's offensive line will continue to be the catalyst for my homesickness, but it was this week.

Overall I can't wait for this vacation.  I think getting out of Seoul will be a good change of pace and although i'm nowhere close to sick of it yet, I am excited for some new scenery.  Here's to hoping that my students move out of their current phase quickly, if I had to choose i'd honestly say i'd rather have them stealing and using toy stegosauruses as weapons, but it's become very clear that I don't call the shots in Cat Class, so until this is over...jeans it is.

PerPet

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about coffee shops? ...Yes exactly...Dogs.  A coffee shop just doesn't feel complete without 30 some odd dogs running around yapping at your feet, right?  Last night was my first time at a pet cafe, and I'll never be satisfied with a regular Coffee Bean again.

As i've said before, you don't see many animals in Seoul and the ones you do see are pretty mangey - mostly feral cats and i've heard of some ferret sightings. Some people have little dogs, but since space is so limited here, most people just do without...unless you're in the country...then you see big dogs...but they are not pets :(  So when I heard about these pet cafes it sounded like a cute idea and when my friend suggested we meet their for coffee I was semi excited.  I thought to myself, "this will be nice, I do miss animals"...I had no idea what kind of twisted hell I was about to walk into.

At first everything seemed cute enough, lots of people sitting around, drinking coffee and eating cakes or donuts.  There were dozens of pomeranians, bijon frises and other miniature creatures playfully running around at peoples feet.  As we were finding a place to sit, I still hadn't had time to absorb the scene that was going on all around.  Once we were situated and things started to register the first thing I realized was the smell.  It was so off putting... not a sent that made one crave food or beverage.  Upon further inspection I started noticing puddles...puddles of pee....obviously causing the smell and causing my appetite to disappear entirely.  Soon after noticing the pee, I noticed someone going around "cleaning up" the situations.  What I saw next only disturbed me further.  The designated pee cleaner upper was armed with a bottle of water and a dirty mop.  I watched as he'd approach the piddle, threw some water on it, then move it all around with the mop.  Mind you, this is after a handful of dogs had already ran through the pee, and were then scooped up to join someone at their table.  It quickly became clear that I was going to have to monitor my facial expressions throughout this coffee date.

Along with the pee and smell, there was the noise.  I feel like little dogs are always disproportionately loud for their size.  Maybe it's because it's their only real defense against things they don't like.  Things like being held against their will or being smooshed against someone's breasts.  Yet this was exactly what every Korean in PerPet was doing, they were holding these little dogs hostage.  As soon as they'd snatch one off the ground, they'd attempt to cradle it like a baby, or throw it over their shoulder like they were burping an infant, or they'd just hold onto their collar and not let it go, blatantly ignoring the dog's cries for freedom.  I don't know if everyone in their was a control freak, or if they just needed a friend, or if that constant yapping wasn't registering as a sign that the dogs were not enjoying the attention, but I do know that the noise in this place was deafening.  So much so that I began wondering if people came here for coffee when they'd rather not converse with their company...

Between the noise, the smell and the overall anxious feel of the place, I was on the verge of a panic attack/migraine within 10 minutes of sitting down.  My friend is from Korea and these places are a popular hang out, I didn't want to be disrespectful, but after 30 minutes I couldn't take it anymore and I asked if we could relocate.  Animals are wonderful and I miss them very much, but i'll do without for the next year or so if it means I never have to go back to a place like that again.